I am sure by now you have read, seen, or caught wind of the stories about 19 year old Luke Gatti who threw a temper tantrum while intoxicated at UCONN. He is accused of assaulting food service employees who would not sell him mac & cheese with peppers in it. Ultimately, he was arrested and will most likely be expelled from school. He may also be facing some jail or at least probation. The story is heartbreaking really. Food service employees don’t get much respect to start with let alone does anyone want to show up for work to be assaulted. The employee shown in the video dealing with Luke in his terrible moment showed amazing restraint. (Yes, I call him Luke on purpose because I want to humanize him. Despite the comment section on NBC Connecticut, he is still a human fighting some sort of battle we know nothing about!)
Here is the thing, “people need our love the most when we think they deserve it the least.” In these moments, Luke didn’t act in ways that would make most of us want to show him love and compassion. Oddly enough, he isn’t getting much compassion either. Most people don’t think he deserves love and compassion, which in my eyes is the thinking that supports so much of the violence on our planet. The comments on NBC Connecticut’s FaceBook page are sad. We need to make some changes if we want a less violent world. We need to start connecting the the “WHY” behind other people’s actions. In Luke’s case, instead of asking “what’s wrong with him” or labelling him an entitled jerk, we would be best to ask, what happen to him to make him act in such ways.
For starters, Luke appears to have issues with substance abuse and at 19, Luke is on the road downhill if we don’t find him some treatment. This wasn’t his first experience with drunken outbursts as he was expelled from UMASS after being arrested twice for similar events. Why we didn’t get him help the first time is not explained. I would also guess based on his lack of emotional control that he has had some past traumas that have stunted his ability for emotional regulation. Again, I am curious about Luke’s past traumas and his life growing up. Looking at his mug shot, I see a lot of pain in Luke’s eyes. I see shame which is what I am betting got him where he is. We need to step up, put the anger aside, and start helping him and those he has hurt heal from the harms of these actions.
Next, I am embarrassed by our treatment of Luke following this incident. Although I see this response to many criminals. We loose sight of their humanity and some how don’t realize our poor treatment of Luke in response to his awful behavior isn’t much better than his behavior. In fact, I would bet it is people mistreating Luke in his life that have lead to him acting in the ways he has. Our response is to continue the abuse and degrading of his humanity. I am sadden by this response and energized at the same time. Maybe this is an opportunity to show people how using restorative justice in our response to the “Luke’s” of the world is better for everyone.
In our old way of looking at justice, we see Luke has broken the rules and should be punished for that. We judge what is wrong with him and our focus is heavily on how to make him pay for his wrong-doings. He will most likely be kicked from school, fined, and maybe get either a light jail sentence of probation. Here are the obvious issues with that:
The victims are no where in the current picture. What about more focus on the harm to the victims. Our current system of justice focuses on the doer of deeds and not those impacted by those deeds. I would like a justice system that does focus on the harms to victims and includes them in the process. It would also be nice if we recognize all the victims and not just the obvious ones. What about the embarrassment to his family? Does the harm to them not also make them victims? I think it does.
It is substance abuse and past trauma that led him here and more traumas and punishments won’t make Luke better. In fact, I am betting such treatment is likely to make Luke worse off than he was before. He needs treatment for the substance abuse and the past trauma not punishments! We have study after study showing us that re-traumatizing people just makes them worse off. At 19, there is a pretty good chance we could help get Luke back on track to being a great member of our society.
I do want Luke held accountable and punishments won’t do that. Luke sitting in jail convinced once again that he isn’t loved or cared for isn’t likely to make his life better, it will just waste it further. For me, real justice would be Luke facing those he has harmed and asking them how he can make things right. This gives him a chance to explain himself and be humanized by those who see hum currently as a criminal. It gives his victims a chance to explain the harms they have experienced, to be heard about their pain, and request Luke right those wrongs.
I imagine using what we in this field call a restorative circle or community conferencing circle. Luke, his family, friends, the victims, and members of the community would be brought together in a circle to sit and dialogue with the use of a talking piece. First we would discuss what happened. Luke would speak first. We would ask him, what happen? What were you thinking at the time of the incident? What have you thought about since? Who has been impacted by your actions and how? What needs to happen here today to make things right?
Next, Luke’s victims would be given a chance to answer similar questions and a few additional. We would ask each of them, what has been the hardest thing for you? What do you need from this circle to move forward and heal? What would you ask of Luke to help in that healing?
Lastly, Luke’s supporters would be asked, “what did you think when you heard about this incident?” which gives them a place to express their disappointment and shame. Then would also be asked what they need to move on and how Luke can play a role in that? The focus of the circle is on what is the harm? Who has been harmed? and How do we repair the harm’s? The answers to these questions play out the way I think real justice looks. Thousands of people have experienced these circles in response to crime, conflict, and family issues. The response is overwhelmingly positive because the focus is healing to forcing people to suffer for their past wrong-doings. I personally think Jail is too easy for most. Facing your actions and the people harmed is far more accountable than sitting in a jail blaming others for your actions.
Our current system of justice needs work. So does our personal responses to people like Luke. The comments on social media don’t meet my values of compassion, care, and keeping present to another’s humanity even when their actions make that difficult. I hope we can do better and I have to admit, I am not feeling hopeful at all that is going to happen. We just need to keep repeating the words….. people need our love the most when we think they deserve it the least.