Speak Compassion

Nine men in Senegal, Africa were sentenced to jail for homosexual acts including an outspoken HIV/AIDS Activist.  The men will get 8 years in prison after being arrested in a raid on December 19, 2008.

This news really has me asking the same questions I have been asking anti-gay advocates like Peter LaBarbera, Stacy Harp or Matt Barber for years with no answer?  Is this the end game?  Throwing us in jail for ‘unatural acts’ and conspiracy?

I have wondered for years what the end game of anti-gay activists is, what are they working towards?  What does the world look like if American’s for Truth or Concerned Women for America got there wish about gay folks.   I have yet to ever get any real and definitive answer and I am guessing that is because this is what they are working towards.  I can bet that given the chance, many ultra-conservative and literalists of the bible would have gays and lesbians jailed for being gay or worse.

I for one feel completely saddened for these men as all the science is pointing toward genetic factors and that homosexuality is not changeable despite the unproven claims of religious groups.   I can only hope the international community steps in on this clearly human rights issue, frees these men and brings them to countries where they will be SAFE!

The month of December has been busy, inspiring, shaking and even life changing.    I have returned from my trip to the International Intensive Training in Nonviolent Communication.   Before I stated that the books on NVC changed my life, now I will tell you for certain that spending 10 days with 60 people from around the world who believe in peace has changed my life even more.   Spending time with Marshall Rosenberg was also life changing.   He is just as inspiring in person as he is on my Ipod at a red light, driving the car.

I have traveled through at least 15 states in the past month.   I started in Connecticut and flew to Chicago, Ill where I spent a few hours hanging out.  Then it was off to New Mexico for the training.   On the way back, I passed through Atlanta, GA and many others I just flew over.   After my trip, I jumped in the car and headed to Rhode Island for the day to do some small claims court mediation then back to CT.  From there, Rick and I hopped into the car and went to Richmond, VA driving through NY, NJ, Maryland, Delaware, where we spent some times with my folks.  I was grateful to spend some time hanging with my dad and talking about philosophy and religion and the search for meaning in the world.   My dad is one of the most intelligent people I have met and I am always amazed at his view of the world.   I was also happy to spend some time with my mom and sad to learn her health isn’t what it use to be.   Both my folks are getting older and that is a tough pill to swallow.

Rick and I then trucked our way through the Carolinas ending up in Greenville for the Holidays.   This was a delightful time and I feel so appreciative I got to spend time with my nieces and my sister and her husband.  In my younger days I use to live with them in a small apartment in New Jersey.   I am always grateful when I get to spend time with them as I hold my relationships with them close to my heart.

Now, I am back in CT and getting ready to hit the road again to head to Rhode Island for a day, then off to PA for the New Years Holiday.   I bet you can see from this just why I haven’t been posting much here at the site.  I also have to admit, I haven’t felt the muses knocking at my door inviting me to write.   I just haven’t felt the drive to correct Peter LaBarbera or Stacy Harp or any of the other anti-gay writers.   I just don’t have the same energy for that as I use to carry.   I have been thinking of taking this site down and at the same time, I have so much invested in time and energy to just erase it.   I will be updating the rest of the site to now promote my consulting business.  I guess it is up in the air where my blog will go from there.   I am open to new strategies if you have them to offer….

I do want to write more about my trip to New Mexico to deepen my learning of Nonviolent Communication.   I learned so much about how we currently communicate (and think) and just why it is contributing to violence on the planet.   I learned new ways of looking at things that most of my gay rights activist friends might think are “nuts” (The right wing already thinks I am nuts) and yet I truly believe what I am learning could change the civil rights movement of gays from dead in the water to finally getting our needs met and still finding ways to respect those who don’t agree.   I do believe it is possible.  I have been writing that for years and now I am convinced.

Anyway, look for some upcoming stuff on my new fascination about giving up processed foods and switching to only organic stuff.   No more chemicals in my food.  Look for some more posts about conflict resolution and Nonviolent Communication stuff and when I have the drive,  look for the usual Satyagraha view of anti-gay actions.

Until then……Happy New Year and I hope whatever you celebrate this time of year, that it is everything you want it to be.

I have been writing about nonviolence on this site since its inception.   It has been an integral part of my life for many years. I continue to strive to live nonviolently as it is a goal of my life.   With that said, I must says it pains me each time I see gays and lesbians reacting to prop 8 supporters in ways that do us no favors because it uses violence because I value unity in our actions.

First off, I guess I need to describe what I mean when I use the word violence.  I am off the school that believes violence can be of the spirit, of the mind and of body.   We are violent when we use our spiritual beliefs to oppress others.   We are violent when we try to control others via bribery, fear, guilt or shame.  We are violent when we shun others into the shadows and deny the qualities that make them human.  We see them for the label we have given them rather than the human they are.  We see the homo but not the human, we see the christian but not the human.  We see the label, name or category but fail to see the person behind the label.  So, if you think you are not violent, know we are all violent in our own ways and to our own degrees.   For the sake of this article, I am going to steal some imagery from Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication and refer to violent acts as Jackal and nonviolence as Giraffes.  I am doing this for more reasons than Rosenberg would have, but we will get to that later.

Second, I guess I should explain what Nonviolence (Giraffe) is and why it is better than Jackal in protests and social change.  You see nonviolence is time proven to be effective.   Gandhi, King, Mandela, Chavez have all used nonviolence and civil disobedience to create mass social change.  Nonviolence is far from inaction or some passive “ladedada”, it is creative action in motion that refuses to sink to the low levels of jackal, not of mind, not of heart and not of the spirit.  Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “nonviolence asks us not only we will not hit a man, but we refuse to hate him” regardless that he just told us to “turn or burn.”

Being a giraffe is creative but it seeks to build community and progress not tear others down.   It seeks to change hearts and mind by use of a force more powerful than hate and never gives up on the faith that even the most stringent opponent has the potential to change.   Giraffe can take the blows of the jackals because the giraffes refuse to see the actions of jackals without considering the person behind those actions.   To see the human behind the label.

Next, lets address the reality of Prop 8 for us by acknowledging this is painful.   It hurts to be told your love will never be recognized they way straight couples are recognized by our government.  We are angry.  We hear about equality, we hear about justice but it is hard to buy into these words when you are labeled a second class citizen.   Those on the right are having a hard time seeing why marriage is a civil right and we are becoming increasingly frustrated at finding new ways to explain so they will hear.   Sadly, I have to say I fail to see how they will hear our needs when we are speaking Jackal language calling them names like bigot and hater.  I must say if I wanted to explain something to someone and have them hear it, starting off with a round of name calling doesn’t seem likely to make my opponents feel safe enough to listen to my requests for equality. Chances are we have sent them into “defense” mode or worse, we have frightened them into “I need protection mode” I wonder what they would hear if we respond in giraffe mode rather than jackal.  I wonder what they world would think when they see us acting like giraffes and them looking like jackals?

I saw the footage of the older women getting the cross knocked out of her hands.  I tried to empathize with her needs and feelings in that moment.  I can imagine she was afraid because she valued her safety.  I can also imagine she might have felt angry and helpless because she really valued her religious symbols and they were knocked from her hand.   On the other side I can empathize with those who knocked the cross our of her hand.   They may have felt angry because they needed a space to vent their frustration over prop 8.   They may also have felt scared because they needed some emotional safety in their moment of pain.   On both sides are human trying to get their needs met.  We could play the blame game but where would that get us?   We could play the whose right and whose wrong game but I wonder where that would get us.    The philosopher Rumi said it best, “in between the ideas of right doing and wrong doing there is a place, I’ll meet you there.”

I saw the footage of the church group in the Castro needing a police escort to escape the anger of gays and lesbians who followed the screaming at them to go away.  I again can empathize with both sides because I truly value seeing them as humans rather than sides of an argument.  I can hear the anger of the Castro residents as they need respect in their space.  I can suspect the Christian group was feeling scared and needing assurance of their safety.   I could play the “but those people” game or the “they said, he said” game but again, what is to be gained by this? I am reminded of Rumi words a second time.

When you read the stories of the civil rights movement or the stories from the Salt March by Gandhi, one cannot help being moved and inspired how so many people could be united in nonviolence to end injustice.   In the Montgomery Bus Boycotts protesters walk for close to 300 days, some for miles in bad shoes.  Some faced violence but faced it in love.   In the Lunch counter sit-ins, protesters walked into the face of violence and remained firm in their conviction without calling anyone names or fighting back in anyway.  The world saw this and change came quickly from it.    For Each protester in Gandhi’s march to the salt factory, he trained his protesters to take on the pain of his oppressor in order to shame them.   One by one protesters marched forward only to by clubbed down by British soldiers until the soldiers refused to hit another human.    It took hundred of tries and human lives being changed, but the soldiers gave into the human factor.

Knowing this history of nonviolence and knowing just how powerful it is leaves me feeling sad each time I see GLBT folks responding to hate in ways that don’t help us.   Each time I hear us scream “bigots” in the chants, I cringe as I know that hurts us more than helps.  We are not winning our enemy over if we are trying to win against them.   King knew it, Chavez knew it, Mandela knew it and Gandhi really knew it.   Know we need to learn it and use it if we are going to be free.

Okay, so maybe I have sold you on the idea that we should use nonviolence.  You get that is isn’t for the weak, this takes strength and courage.  It means crossing lines into the middle of conflict and refusing to react as a jackal when you get there.  I may have finally gotten you to see this is not Passive.   Gandhi himself hated the term Passive Resistance because he saw nothing passive about what he was doing.   I see nothing passive about us taking a stand, but we must choose Gandhi’s idea of Giraffe if we are going to make it work.

I have chosen to borrow Rosenberg’s ideas of Giraffe and Jackal because I am hoping they will give us a symbol and an easy reminder of how we should act.  We can choose to be jackals or we can choose to be giraffes.    So what are the difference you ask?  I am happy to share that answer:

Jackals scream, “hey hey, HO HO, Bigotry has got to go”

Giraffes scream “we are all one” because giraffes know that screaming bigotry has got to go brings up defenses to our listeners.  We want them to hear us, not tune us out.

Jackals respond to name calling with more name calling

Giraffes smile and say nothing but a smile that say more than the hateful words ever could.

Jackals play the blame game trying to motivate people with guilt and fear into seeing the world their way.

Giraffes listen and empathize with how hard it is to change values you hold close to your heart.

Jackals scream about winning against the opponent!

Giraffes talk about winning over their opponent!

So I ask you, which do you think will help us more?  Being a giraffe or a jackal?

As a side note, I do agree with Jim Burroway that the vast majority of protests have been peaceful, but I also know that the likes of Peter LaBarbera, Matt Barber and Stacy Harp lurk in the background just looking for news ways to use our actions against us.   Lets not give them any writing material!  (In case you thought I was kidding, here is a new web blog devoted to how Christians are being attacked by homos.  They of course will show you a very narrow view of gays and lesbians to make the case “all” of us are out to victimize Christians.  They are also playing the victims card which I find odd since they often accuse GLBT folks of the same.  Check it out for yourself but respond in kind)

I can honestly tell you from writing this blog for the past few years that my experiences with fundamentalist Christians have taught me many lessons.   I can also honestly tell you that I feel astonished and amazed because I really value the truth, I really value facts and science.  I find those things to be the heart of mankind’s beauty.  I cannot say with any confidence that I have ever met a right wing christian who seems anything like the Jesus Christ I have read about in my bible.   I have met Christians who have been very much like the Christ of the bible, but none of them leaned so far to the right as to shun, dismiss or judge others.

As a writer, I have struggled to reconcile my need and desire to write nonviolently.  In the spirit of Gandhi who could use the written word to enlighten and invoke anger so people would change for the better, I have struggled to paint pictures of others that tell the story, but don’t create negative images.   To try to understand more than judge has been an important goal.   It has also not been an easy goal to achieve.   On some days I can do it and on others I fail.

From DL Foster, to Stacy Harp, to the “gays have sex with infants” man himself, Guy Adams, I have yet to meet a right wing Christian who models the man I read about in the bible named Christ.   I have to wonder to myself, if Jesus really did exist, then what would he think of the things these folks have said?   Would he approve of the moral judgments, the cheap shots at my education or denial of the beauty of science?  What would he think of the name calling?  What would he think of any of it?

The most recent article about me from the parents of Russell Groff states:

Gay bloggers are like a vicious cycle, the repeat their lies over and over, and do it in a very hurtful way. Mr. Brummer, you are no different in my eyes, you do not seem to care how you hurt people.

Anyone that has spent anytime reading this blog knows I care greatly about people’s feelings and have spent lots of time studying how I can say what I think needs to be said without hurting anyone.   I felt disappointed when I read these words as I really would like people to see me authentically, to see me as I truly am but that isn’t likely at all.   I often read that I am a militant activist or from the Groff Family blog, Carolyn Groff states, “From what I have gathered on the Internet, Joe is a homosexual activist, and pretty much listens to the lies that are told to him.”  It does make me wonder if it is possible for people to put down their weapons or in this case bibles and see each other as humans with human needs.

I have watched myself transform on this blog from a sometimes, snippy and cut throat writer who wanted to be witty and clever to a student of Martin Luther King, Jr’s writing  and Gandhi’s philosophies.  I saw my writing shift to  a new place where I tried my best to respond to each inaccurate thing about gays and lesbians with dignity for those who wrote it, no matter how angry I was.  It shifted again as I studied further into nonviolence learning about Einstein wishes for peace and the stories of those who survived Rwanda though nonviolence. Lately, I am studying Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication.   I wanted to be someone who called anti-gay folks out not only on the misinformation but the enemy images and violence it helps foster but do it with a sense of respect for their humanity.   I succeed at that sometimes and at others I have not.

In the time I have written this blog, I have refrained from calling people names and I have deleted comments from those who have called people names.  With many gay bloggers, that hasn’t made me popular.   I have tried to respond in kind even when I am angry.   Yet, nothing in my eyes has changed.  It has been 10 years since the death of Matt Shepard and nothing has changed.  We do not even have a federal hate crimes law.  For as long as these people believe in the talking snake, and the 900 year old sea captain, not much is going to change.  They refuse to look at the science regardless what it says about human sexuality. There is loads of evidence now that will tell you people are born gay and that it is not changeable.   Forget the whole ex-gay thing, all ex-gays are just changing the words not the sexuality.   Ask any ex-gay if they are “tempted” and see what they say….yet they will continue this charade regardless who it hurts, just to be “right” with god.   Again, I wonder what he would think if he really existed.

I can’t honestly tell you where this article is going.  I am more venting my feelings and thoughts about the most recent attacks on me from the Groff Family.  They paint a picture of some militant activist who could care less about others and even my most outspoken adversary could tell you that isn’t true.

As I look for a new job in my new state, I can’t wonder what prospective employers think of me when they Google my name.   I never set out to be an “activist.”  I am the survivor of 2 gay bashing who needed to reconcile violence in my heart and head.  I needed to understand how people can hit, punch and make another bleed just because they are different.   I needed to heal the anger I felt at the pain I suffered.    I heard Stephen Bennett’s radio show and something clicked for me.   I instantly understood why people would want to hurt or kill gays.    They are painted as such monsters out to get everyone and everthing in the religious press, it is no wonder people felt a need to defend themselves.  I wanted to speak out against what I saw and still see as the root of violence against gays, hate speech.

I will share with you that in my day world, where I am not an armchair activist, I am a trained mediator.   I have sat down at the table with many people who really needed to solved their conflict.   Many times or most of the time mediation is the last resort, a last ditch effort before taking a chance before the judge in small claims court.   It has been my experience that everyone, regardless of facts, believes they are right for the deepest and most personal reasons.    The fight over gay rights seems little different to me.   We all hold onto the most personal and deepest of reasons, even when the evidence is stack against us in the hope we must might win.    The problem with that thinking is that people, real people get hurt in the process.   Many of them give their lives and not willingly at the hand of those who are convinced they are right regardless of how much evidence is stacked against them.

I can only hope for a better future.   My thoughts to get there, learn Nonviolent Communication.  No matter what side of this “cultural war” you are on, you will be given skills to communicate your side witht the least amount of harm.    I also ask people stop the name calling.  It helps no one.  Stop with the words bigot, fundie, faggot, fairy, jesus freak, or whatever other creative “whitty” thing you have to say to get hits on your site.   If all you care about it “hits” then you might be in this for the wrong reasons.

Back in 2002, a young man named Stuart Denton was arrested for cruising for sex at a Rhode Island adult bookstore.  The papers published his name and picture.  He was understandably humiliated and embarrassed.   I don’t condone what he was doing as I wish for all of us to treat ourselves better, but I do understand that living in a homophobic world some are driven to live in the shadows.  The news reports called these men “disgusting”  and a “public health hazard”.   People saw these men for the labels they were given and not their humanity.   We saw their actions, but not their human side.   Sadly, Stuart Denton hanged himself four days after his arrest.  Later investigation showed no crimes had been committed by any of the men as they were in private booths.

Now, flash to 2008 and officials in Huntsville, Alabama have arrest two dozen men for cruising for sex in a scenic overlook area.  Again, as with the men in Rhode Island, their names and picture are being posted on the internet and they are being kicked with a heavy foot from their closets.   They are being painted as monsters by the media and most people will stop at the label never seeing the fathers, brothers and friends these people are.   When we label people, we only see the label we give them not the human behind the label.  The youngest being 25 years old but the oldest being almost 90, these men are clearly from a time and place where being gay is highly frowned upon.

Sadly, we live in a society that is not interested in restoring the community after a member of our community does something unlawful.  We demand they are punished, but punishment does not restore, heal or rehabilitate the community or the offender.  Nothing good comes from it except good ratings for the newspapers.  I would have hope these men would have been treated with some dignity regardless what undignified things they were doing.  Sadly, I can’t hope for such compassion to exist because the media and the far right wing would never let it be so.  These men’s names should have never been printed and they should have been sent for treatment.

I believe with all my heart that it is the Peter LaBarbera’s, the AFA’s, the Stephen Bennett’s and the Stacy Harp’s of the world that maintain the culture of the closet in which these men live and suffer.  It is this culture that drives men to live these secret lives in the woods, parks, rest stops or adult book stores rather than coming out of the closet and meeting a nice man and settling down.  Perhaps running off to one of the two coastal getaways that allow gay marriage.

I hope time changes this to where men with same sex attractions are not living in fear, in the shadows having unfullfilling sex in the brush when they could be having meaningful and loving relationships out in the open.  Perhaps, if Mr. LaBarbera rethought his work, he might see he perpetuates the same problems he hopes to solve.

As an afterthought, here in New Haven, CT dozens of men were arrested in a prostitution sex sting.   Again, the pictures of these men are being posted for the sake of public humiliation.   (A tactic I would call outdated and cruel)  I agree with the article that calls prostitution a “very violent crime.”  To sell yourself off for sex is to not love yourself.  On the other hand, I know that to pay for sex means one may not have the proper self respect, self-esteem and needs some help.   Rather than help rehabilitate these men, we are just humiliating them like dogs.  I am sickened by how we treat people who do unlawful things when that treatment lacks humanity!

I long for the day we move toward “Restorative Justice” rather than “punitive justice” which just isn’t working.

Hat Tip to Queerty!

I got a rather heated and passionate comment here on the site and I wanted to do my best to reply with the most amount of compassion that I could.  I do not believe responding in hate to hate is helpful, compassion to others is helpful, so here goes (my replies are in blue):

Roy Martin |

Any thing that goes against the laws of nature has negative consiquences.All of you gay people think you have the right to infest your evil sex acts and desease on society.

Well, Roy, you did a good job at telling us what we think, but you have to admit you don’t really know what we think.  It does sound like you are concerned for safety and needing to know that you are safe from disease.  I can tell you that you are safe.

You say you were born that way but God did not create gay people.It is an evil spirit and you make the choice to except it just as drug users and murderers and child molesters do.They all have an excuse just as you do.

Roy, when I see you equate gays with evil, child molesters and murderers, I feel sad and angry.  I need to be seen as authentic and real.   I would never wish harm on a child, nor as a follower of nonviolence would I kill or harm another.  It just isn’t in my values.   I need for you to see me as transparent and human, because I am.  Please let me know how I am can bring that compassion out of you.

You get angry at people and society if we bash your unnatural acts.If we except gay as normal then whats wrong with having sex with animals and children even our own daughters and sons.

Here Roy, you have gone down the slippery slope trail.  I am not attracted to members of the opposite sex.  I am attracted to member of the same sex.  That doesn’t include relatives or children and certainly not animals.    I just don’t have any attraction to the opposite sex and I never have.  I do have an attraction to the same sex.  With that said, I found a nice guy and we have been together for 8 years.

We can say we were born that way.If we except gay rights then it will be only a matter of time that all of these evil things that are against our design and laws of nature will be rampant on this earth.

Roy, if I read your words correctly, it sounds like you are concerned and afraid that if society accept gays and lesbians that the safety of the future is at risk.   I am inspired by your need for safety for all.  I hear your need for laws that protect us, all.  I can only say that we gays and lesbians wish for the sane safety for this earth.

Its not your fault that this evil unclean spirit came into you but its your fault to choose to keep it.

I feel uneasy here Roy, as I don’t believe in spirits, but I also DO believe in science and research.  So far, we understand that having same sex attractions is normal and natural.  Many animals in the world, including humans have same sex attractions.   It isn’t a choice.   Many gays and lesbians tried with all their might to change and couldn’t.   I would request that you explore those stories and see the humanity in the struggles.  We are not talking about monsters or demons, but people.

You know good and well its wrong and perverted to no end.

Actually, no.   I don’t know that nor do I agree with it.  I think these labels of wrong and right are dangerous and promote violence.   We all know what the TV taught us, that the guys who are wrong suffer without any acknowledgement of their humanity.   I hope you are able to see this lable process of words we use is hurting more people than it helps.

You also know and believe in right and wrong.

 No, I don’t.  I did until I learned that this are just labels we use to put people into boxes that lead to violence.  I stop when I learned that.   Now I have replaced those terms with new words that remove the “deserve” language and replace it with needs met or not meet.  It promotes less violence.

I also believe that you probably dont believe in God but im willing to bet you believe that you believe there is a satan.

Nope, I don’t.   So don’t bet much, you lose.  I don’t believe in supernatural stuff at all.  No ghosts, no spirits, no gods , no demons.   I just don’t buy into it.

Your anger really isnt against people like me.

Anger, I have none.   I am not angry Roy, I am worried and concerned that we are on a path that will bring us all down in the name of gods who do not exist. I see the evidence everyday as well kill, discriminate and treat others like crap in the name of gods we cannot prove exist.

Its against yourself for the fact that you are weak and pathetic and an insult to all that is good and natural.

I was sad when I read these words.  You did a good job of telling me “what” I am, but you have never met me.   Would it not have been more productive to tell me what you feel and need?  How can I meet your needs or make changes in the world if you have told me what you think I am rather than what you need and feel?  Try again, I will listen.

Stop looking at those against you and look at yourself.

Roy, I have spent a lifetime of 40 years looking at myself.  Did you really think you could change anything I have learned or concluded with one comment on my blog, that calls me names and tells me I am evil, perverted, weak and pathetic.  Why would I listen to anything you have to say when all you do is call me names and insult me?  If you want to reach gays and lesbians with a message from god, you might want to start by speaking in words that make them want to listen rather than words that make then want to ignore you.  Just a suggestion.

Your the one that wimps out to bad choice not us.

So, it sounds like you would like us to make choices that agree with you?  Do I have that correct?

I have children that need to be protected from you and your kind including any one that thinks its normal.

I am sad to hear you believe this, but It sounds like there isn’t much I can say to change your mind.  I can tell you I have a big family and they don’t share your belief that anyone needs to be protected from me or people like me.   I am disappointed you feel this way, that is why they call it homophobia.  It means people are scared of gay people and feel they need protection.  People like James Dobson, Peter LaBarbera, Stacy Harp and Matt Barber have put that fear into you that you feel you need protection from people like me or my kind.   I bet if you spent a day with me, you would learn that isn’t true.  I invite you to spend a day with me and my partner.  You will learn that isn’t true.

You are a disgrace to man kind and God and our children and schools and family morals.

Gee Thanks, I guess.  You have done a great job at judging people like me and telling us “what” we are by calling us a disgrace to man kind, but how is that helping anyone to tell them “what” they are?  I would feel so much more confident if you would tell us what you are requesting of us rather than the moral judgments of what you think we are.   I believe telling us what you want, feel and need will be more productive then your judgments of what we are.

I hope I answered your concerns Roy, and stayed respectful of your beliefs.   Please feel free to comment again.

Peace,

-Joe Brummer,

Writer and Owner of Replace the lies with Truth

You can read the original comment here

UPDATES:  Roy has returned and left lots of comments.  I don’t have time to answer them now, but I will over the next few days.  I have been without cable or internet, so it won’t be till I have the new hook ups.

Gambian President Yahya Jammeh has given gays and lesbians 24-hours to vacate the country or be killed.  He claims it is a moral and holy country and gays have no place there.       Aside from being completely shocked by this, I guess we should be touched he gave warning?

Now, I can’t help but wonder if the Stacy Harp, Peter LaBarbera and other anti-gay activists will be denouncing this violence?  I won’t be holding my breath.

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I have really not felt much like writing. Whatever muse that usually drives me, seems to be off on vacation. I have been pre-occupied with some bigger news that is happening in my life, but I will save that for later when it is all confirmed. I also just finished an interview with David Ciciline, Mayor of Providence for “get” magazine that should be out in print in the next few days.

I have been watching the news about the Day of Silence and the Ken Hutcherson drama. It seems this man protested the protest against anti-gay violence. He complained about the Day of Silence being disruptive, then turned around to brag and celebrate his victory over the protest that was to protest anti-gay violence that was surly more disruptive than the Day of Silence. Not sure I can comprehend that mindset, but I can tell you it feels sad to read about the man’s glee at disrupting a protest against violence.

I also got myself tangled for a short while with a Stacy Harp supporter. Not sure what it is in me that believes that people will take the time to listen to each other and respect each other, but I do. I also know that can take lots of time and energy. The comments in this thread left me feeling exhausted just reading them, let alone replying. I don’t have that energy anymore. I have been blogging for 2 and 1/2 years seemingly to correct the same myths and lies over and over.

I sense so much bitterness, anger and frustration in their comments. That comes along with the references to Paul Cameron research that we die younger. I doubt they even know that is the source of that myth. There are also the typical myths and lies about GLBT folks and the inferences that gays deserve any violence that comes their way. One commenter wrote:

maybe if so many in the “GLBT” community weren’t working so hard to foist off their lifestyle on our children by telling my 8 year old son that someone wanting to stick their penis in his anus is perfectly natural and acceptable behavior maybe the folks that walk down the street so damned proud of the fact that they are a rope smoker or a carpet muncher wouldn’t get their asses beat down.

I am sad to hear anyone blame the victim for violence. It just does nothing to help anyone.

Eventually, I could see that nothing good or productive could come from the conversation there, so I ditched. Sadly, I find that to be the case with just about every anti-gay person I have ever had contact with especially Stacy Harp. Nothing good seems to come from talking with them. Aside from the understanding I gain of their thinking and where they are coming from, I see nothing good coming from direct conversation with people who are anti-gay.

I am growing to a point where I am happy to be with my partner, happy to hang with my dogs and just be. I am growing concerned about the direction this country is taking, but I am also getting older and tired. I see the bitterness and determination of people like Stacy Harp, Ken Hutcherson and the Peter LaBarbera’s of the world, to win against GLBT folks rather than win over GLBT folks. We as a country are more worried about who we have power over then who we have power with. These are some big mistakes if you take a look at what we are facing with food shortages and gas problems. Our population is heading for 9 billion and we don’t have the resources to feed all those people. You can guess where this will take us. (and they’re worried about who I sleep with?)

I don’t have their determination, but I also can happily say I am not carrying their anger or bitterness either. I think much of their reactions and movements come from a place of fear. None of them would be working so hard if they were not afraid what the world would look like should GLBT rights be granted. The flip side of that would be, what is there end game. What does the world look like should they get everything they are working to get? Do they even know?

With that all said, I am off to a behavioral health conference in Boston for a few days. I will check in but I won’t have time to blog much. In the meanwhile, I updated the page “My Journey to Nonviolence” feel free to catch up on where I am these days. I may even add some more later tonight as I have had a definite shift in my thinking lately!

UPDATE:

After checking in once or twice with the Cao Blog, I left this comment. I would be interested to see the replies to it.

the comment I left:

Stacy,
I have an entire blog filled with two years of writings denouncing glbt folks who use tactics like those. I feel confident I have denounced and rejected all forms of violence. If you feel that I should denouce it some more because it involved you then you should have emailed me and made such a request, not a demand. But think about it, why would I have made a specific mention of the mail you get? Why do you feel you are so important that I should denounce your email from activists? If you had made a reasonable request for me to denounce it, I would have but you made a demand instead. I don’t much give in to demands.

As for cao, I am not sure what you are even talking about. I did recently write a piece on my blog entitled how to oppose homosexuality without hate. One of the main points I made is that GLBT folks are human beings. We are capable of decent conversations but like most, would prefer that be civil discourse.

Civil discourse usually consists of “I” statements and valid points of argument.

Here is a sample of what I have heard on this thread about me or at me from you guys….
-rather hypocritical of Joe
-he’s determined to sit on the pity pot
-he’s afraid of your jokes. So he refuses to answer
-You seem to me to be a very disturbed person
-You’re afraid of everything
-What a confused soul
-If you’re that much of a nonviolence freak
-He came here intentionally baiting
-Seems ole Joe is just “skeered” of everything
-What a fantasyworld you live in!

Is this what you call civil discourse? I am happy to have a civil conversation with most people, but this is not civil discussion. I avoid bully tactics, insults and name calling as I see them as unproductive and divisive. If you would like to engage in civil discussion, then email me, otherwise this looks like school yard bully play that doesn’t help anyone.

I wanted to share with you a quote I read today.  It was left as a comment by someone reading the transcript of the phone call I received from Stacy Harp.   This comment really sums up the silly idea that being gay is all about sex and was made by a handsome guy named Jason.

You can reduce just about anyone’s relationship to sex if you completely ignore the humanity of the people involved.

I stumbled onto this video via G.A.Y and then on to the guys website. I will give you the full unbelievable details of this man’s so called “life coaching” after the clip.

The Workout is a Life Coaching service for men with unwanted same sex attractions. The tag line says that “It takes work to grow OUT of homosexuality.” The blog was started with one post in October 2006, but this video was just added to youtube, 2 days ago. On the first page of the site he claims in no certain terms to “change people from homosexuality to heterosexuality” and right there I am suspicious. Even the most vocal groups like Exodus International stay away from such claims. The most recent research, which little has really been done, shows that only small percentages of people see small percentages of change in their sexuality from Reparative therapies.

Did I mention he is charging $65.00 an hour for this life coaching service?

I am a bit shocked that any credible clinician is trying to connect sexual orientation to gender identity. Science has already broken the link between these two things. Our gender identity and sexual orientation are not linked. Why this man is trying life coach someone into masculinity thinking it will bring about a change in sexual orientation is baffling. Since I have already explained this myth of gender affirmation in clinical therapy, I am not going to go through all of it. (The long and short is that boys, who were accidentally castrated as children, were raised as girls wearing dresses, still grew up to be heterosexual men.)

There is also plenty of information on gender affirmation and intersex persons who were born with both male and female genitalia . Science has shown that the sexual orientation of an intersexed person may not coincide with the dominate gender of that individual. While someone may have the stronger appearance of female traits, their sexual orientation may have been toward females. The vice versa may also be true.

At first, I laughed when I saw this infomercial of a clip. I wondered if this guy was serious or if this was some prank. A trip over to Dave Pickup’s website (yes, his name appears to be Pickup) and I am still suspicious. Either this man is seriously dangerous to anyone who would hire him or this is in fact, just a prank. He claims that with “life coaching” he can better help people reach masculinity. It is almost as if he is saying he is man enough to make you straight. I am shocked by such claims. For starters, he claims to hold a masters degree in psychology and is working towards his PhD. That is not necessarily an indication of the validity of this new business.

Some of the claims and quotes from the website are scary and way behind the times as far as research and sexuality go.

Pickup writes on his site:
“If gay identity is natural within humanity, then we have an obligation to get rid of what would be a bigoted mindset and work to incorporate gay men and women into the fabric of our lives.”

The fact is that most scientists agree that sexual orientation is at least in some way biological, if not genetic. Most scientists believe it is a combination of biological factors and environmental factors. That would make it “natural” wouldn’t it?

A recent study of the DNA of 1000 gay brothers is already showing promise that homosexuality is in fact biological based.

Dr. Alan Sanders of Evanston Northwestern Healthcare Research Institute, the lead researcher of the new study, said he suspects there isn’t one so-called “gay gene.”

It is more likely there are several genes that interact with nongenetic factors, including psychological and social influences, to determine sexual orientation, said Sanders, a psychiatrist.

“Confusing the confused” would be my way to describe Dave Pickup’s website. He starts off with this pro-gay writing entitled “What the Christian world isn’t telling you” about how gay people should be treated with dignity and honor if homosexuality is inborn and natural. That article leads into another page on the site that addresses “What the Gay World Isn’t telling you” then goes into a therapy sales pitch saying that, “If gay male identity is not inborn, not natural, but is a compensation for the unmet inborn needs of manhood, then these men and the people who support gay ideals are headed down a dangerous path.” The bizarre part is this idea that each person gets to decide for themselves if they were born gay or not. Talk about abandoning science and reason for faith, that takes the cake.

He writes: So what is the truth then? Who decides? YOU DO…

The idea that a person gets to decide for themselves if they were born gay or not is misleading. Of course a person who doesn’t want to be gay is going to tell you that their homosexuality is not inborn. They want it to change and to believe it is inborn means it can’t change. The question of born or not born gay should be answered by Scientists with data and facts, not persons suffering from guilt, low self-esteem and sexual confusion. A “life coach” who would leave such life changing decisions up to someone in such compromising positions is not looking out for the best interest of his clients but instead looking to line his pockets with cash.

The most frightening thing I saw on this man’s website is his “survey” which for the sake of my readers and this article, I am going to take here on my site: (my answers are in blue)

1. Do you get a “buzz” inside you that makes you suspect your homosexual feelings weren’t an inborn trait? Answer: Nope and what do you mean by buzz?
   
2. Do feel a feeling of being “neutral” or “not man enough” or kind of “feminine” in your emotions or actions? Answer: Nope, all man here!
3. Do you feel an aching need for unconditional love, a desire to be truly “one of the guys,” or the need for physical affection? Answer: Your kidding right? I am concerned a “life coach” out to help you would ask this.
4. Do you believe God directs and creates the traits of masculinity, and that He intended you to experience your full manhood? Answer: Nope, I don’t believe in god at all. But this question made me laugh till I cried. Trust me, I have experienced all of my “manhood” We will leave it at that!
5. While growing up, did you experience being kidded incessantly or constantly put-down by other boys for being “weak”? Answer: YES! I was brutally picked on as a kid. I went through much therapy, but science has already shown that teasing and bullying are more likely a result of sexual orientation not the cause.
6. Are you afraid that other guys won’t think you are a real man? Answer: A real man? I don’t even know how to answer this question other than no Life coach or therapist should be working off the notion that it matters what “the other guy’s think of my manhood.
7. Did you pretty much always feel detached from your Dad or cut off from him through his emotional distance or his over-bearing nature? Answer: Nope, I have always been connected and attached to my dad. Please see pic and story here
8. Have you had homosexual experiences in your life and then felt there was still something missing? Answer: Yes, I did and I discovered what was missing, love. Then I found a great guy and we have been having a great relationship and nothing is missing for me. I am very happy. We celebrate eight years next month.
9. Have you been in the gay lifestyle but come to find that this lifestyle is ultimately unfulfilling, futile or feels dysfuntional? (sp?) Answer: Gay lifestyle? Exactly what does this mean? Oh you mean that crap Peter LaBarbera, Stacy Harp and Stephen Bennett try to sell you as every gay man’s lifestyle? Nope, that picture doesn’t look anything like my life or any gay person I have ever met. I am also leary of a man with a psych major who cannot spell the word, dysfunctional.
10. Are you easily discouraged? Answer: If you were to ask my friends if I am easily discouraged, they would laugh you out of the room.
11. Are you willing to take appropriate risks, and get rid of the roadblocks in order to change your feelings and actions? Answer: Since he is asking this about my sexuality, I have no answer. I don’t want to change my feelings or actions. I am very happy the way I am. I believe others can be happy and healthy being gay as well. My advice, treat yourself the way you want others to treat you and they will for bad or good.
12. Are you willing to take responsibility for yourself, for your faith, for your growth, and reach out for what you need no matter what it takes? Answer: This is getting to scare me. Does he really ask people this? It sounds like the tactics used by high pressure sales people to buy a car with no tires. I can almost picture him badgering people with this line and the contract to sign with him. Very drill Sargent like….scare em straight?
13. Are you ready to accept the rewards of being your own man and feeling your own masculinity? Answer: Are you kidding? This is silly. There are no rewards or punishments for being a man. If you teach people there are, you are misleading them into some serious misinformation (sexist at that.) Being a man is no more rewarding them being a women, which reminds me, why doesn’t this guy coach women?
14. Are you tired of being ashamed of your feelings (even if they are homosexual feelings), and want to be more at peace with exactly who you are at any given moment? Answer: Nope! I have no shame. I am not proud of me but I am not ashamed. I am just me and happy about that. I value other same sex attracted people being taught the same thing.
15. Are you at your wit’s end or do you feel nothing is working in terms of your sexuality? Answer: If you are asking people this you really should sell used cars.

This survey is just a sample of how anti-science, uninformed and scary this man’s thinking is. He is preying on people with a strong desire to “not be gay” and low self-esteem. I fear for anyone who would be coached by this man.

Ask Peterson Toscano about changing sexual orientation. Peterson spent tens of thousands of dollars with some of the top reparative therapist and still never changed even a little of his sexuality. How about Christine Bakke who also spent years trying to change her sexuality with no changes. Check in with Truth Wins Out or Beyond Ex-Gay to learn more about the dangers and harms of ex-gay therapy.

Previous posts on similar issues:

The Myth of Gender Affirmation
Breaking Myths: The Uninvolved Father Makes Children Gay

UPDATE: I realize it is way out of my character but this video has just got me laughing harder than I have laughed in weeks. This just can’t be serious. The first words of the video with the infomercial music, this has to be a joke. Its called “the workout”, and then talks about same sex attracted men who “go deep” and then is followed by the line, “I love helping other men be men.”    This has to be a parody or something….

Folks like Stacy and Randall Harp, Representative Sally Kern, Peter LaBarbera, Matt Barber and Stephen Bennett don’t see the damage caused by the constant negative images and messages they transmit to the public about gays and lesbians.  I think it is hard for them to even believe what they are doing is hurting anyone or dangerous because they believe it is grounded in “God’s Work.”   I must admit, I struggle with how to get the message across to them that their missions are hurting more people than they help.   Many of these folks I have mentioned truly believe in their hearts that “warning” people of the horrors of the “gay agenda” and “gay” anything is compassionate and loving.  Whle the intentions may be in the right place, the end result is not.

What folks, like I have mentioned above, fail to see is the cost of their barrage of negative images is human life.  The constant message from these folks is dark and destructive.   Can you imagine hearing this message and applying them to yourself, day after day?

Imagine if you woke up each day, knowing your were gay and hearing messages that said you were not natural, deviant, after the children, a threat to the nation, diseased, perverted, more of a threat than terrorism.  How would you feel?  How would you feel about yourself?

These negative messages have consequences.   

Meet Clive Richards, a man who was gay and so ashamed of being gay he lived in the shadows rather than be out.   Like many closeted gay men, he would engage in sexual behaviors in the shadows rather than come out and live in the open with a partner.   Clive was arrested for these behaviors.   In his fear of being outed as one of those nasty homosexuals of whom he had heard so many negative things, Clive chose to kill himself rather than be outed.

Clive was an involved citizen, teacher and sang in a local choral group.   He had friends, family and admirers who loved him.   His internal picture of gays and lesbians was so negative, he would rather be dead than have it be known he was gay.   On the day before his trial, Clive committed suicide.

Where do you think he got those negative images of being gay?

Why do you think he would be so afraid to be known as gay?

Now, if we could get anti-gay advocates to change the way they present their messages.    If we could get them trained in Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg, PhD) or some other method of communication, would this whole debate be different?  Could we save some lives?

I wasn’t going to address this article written by the husband of anti-gay Christian writer, Stacy Harp. I think it mostly contains the same ole same old claims that have been refuted a dozen times over. He starts off with the explanation of the Sally Kern issue and tries his best to spin the logic. I don’t think he managed to make his case but that is because his case can’t be made. Sally Kern advocates violence whether intended or not and no matter how you spin it.

The major premise that Mr. Harp is trying to make is that the Gay Agenda is somehow separate from gays and lesbians as a class of people. Randall claims that the gay agenda isn’t the people as a class, but the strategy they are using to gain acceptance of their lives. He uses the gun lobby as an example. I call this idea short sighted and blind.

Randall writes:

In reality, “the homosexual agenda” does not mean gays and lesbians everywhere anymore than “the gun lobby” is synonymous with everyone who owns a firearm. In my estimation, the warning was not about a class of people, but a specific strategy being employed at several levels.

The gun lobby is searching for rights for something outside themselves. GLBT folks are seeking rights for their lives. The gun lobby wants laws to affect an object, whereas GLBT seek laws that affect human beings. The differences between them are so different that to compare them is to compare apples to the people who eat them. The gay agenda is about people not things. If Mr. Harp cannot see this huge difference, I am afraid of him and anyone else who cannot see the difference.

Randall continues with the privacy argument which again is short sighted and minimizing of the real issues at hand. Randall writes:

Now, I tend to lean a bit libertarian when it comes to personal endeavors. What someone does in the privacy in their bedroom is their own deal. If you want to do something with a consenting adult, a magazine, or a picnic table, I’d rather not know about it. That’s your business. If it was a matter of giving people their privacy, I’d be down with that - but there are radical activists pushing an agenda - not just about personal preferences - but a social revolution that entails silencing any opposition.

I always feel irritated when I read the whole “what you do in your bedroom thing” because it minimizes the whole scope of this dialogue down to a sex act. If Randall really thinks GLBT relationships boil down to what happens in the bedroom, I would fear his ability to empathize and understand other’s lives must be seriously impaired. This entire debate is about what happens outside of the bedroom. It is about what happens in the emergency room when our families are sick, what happens when we write up the car insurance policy or in whose name we can put the house. If this entire argument could be minimized to what happen in bed it would have ended many years ago. I would ask Randall, does your marriage simplify down to sex?

Randall then moves on with the whole “indoctrination” thing. He expresses his disapproval that we advocate teaching children from a young age that homosexuality is normal. He calls this teaching indoctrination because that is the current word of the party. Randall is towing the party line. I can’t really argue anything here, other than Randall and I disagree. I believe that we need to start teaching children from a young age that homosexuality is normal. Randall believes this is indoctrination. Our beliefs differ, so be it.

After this, Randall moves on to the scare tactics and fear factors. He brings up the homosexual agenda and lewd pride parades. I find this tactic, not just from Randall, but all anti-gay writers to be intellectually dishonest. Randall writes:

The “homosexual agenda” is about more than school curricula. It’s about lewd displays in “pride parades”, and placing activists at every level of government to ensure that gender is transitory and self-determined, and that one’s sexual preference is not simply tolerated (in the true sense of the word), but mainstream and celebrated in every place of society. Unfortunately, the only way to accomplish this “utopia” - where “breeders” (heterosexuals) are minimized - is to silence, marginalize, or prosecute anyone who does not embrace the same vision. Certainly, the promoters of this agenda are going to deny that such an agenda exists. A used car salesman is not going to tell you about the techniques he is using to sell you a car, nor many a politician tell you what they are hoping to gain by certain concessions.

Randall is careful to include scary stuff about pride parades and lewd behavior. I roll my eyes each time I hear these arguments because the same things could be said of heterosexuals but rarely are. The lewd behaviors of a small minority of gays are no more a part of the “gay agenda” then the small minority of people who strip at Mardi Gras or get filmed in a Girls Gone Wild video from Spring Break are a part of heterosexuals. I find it dishonest that Randall brings this murky stuff because the only intent of mentioning it is to invoke fear and disgust of GLBT folks. Sadly, such things are good at invoking both and the result is always dehumanizing.

He goes on with the “breeders” comment, and the silencing arguments all of which fail miserably under closer scrutiny, but are good at invoking fear and defensive attitudes. He also makes the claim that people say there is no gay agenda. I would agree with that. There is no gay agenda, there are several agendas and the end result of all of them is fair treatment of human beings with same sex attractions.

Randall then trends some dangerous ground comparing the “gay agenda” to carbon monoxide, known as the silent killer. He thinks this is okay, but it is not. He tries desperately to justify his own comments by saying he “knows gay people”, well I am sure many a KKK member knew blacks and Jews, that didn’t make anything, okay. The whole “its okay if I bash this group of people cause I know a few” is bogus.

Randall also claims that he does think people should define themselves by their sexual “preference” and I don’t know anyone who does. I have yet to meet anyone in my life gay or straight who has made a choice to be gay or straight. People have a “preference” for a flavor of ice cream, not their sexual orientation. The fact Randall even uses the word “preference” causes doubt in my mind about his claim of understanding this issue.

Lastly, the comment that made me sit down and write this is this:

“I do not advocate violence, but careful attention and diligence to preserve a world in which those who are willing to get along, can get along. Be watchful.”

Randall, the words “I do not advocate violence” should never, ever be followed by the word “but” or it says you do advocate violence. There is no “but” when it comes to this one. Either you do or you don’t. To say there is a “but” is to say there are times when violence is called for and I disagree with you. Violence should never be an answer, period.

When you create a call to action that some group is indoctrinating children, engaging in lewd behavior and taking over the government and media, you are creating a fear that people should defend themselves against said group.

You cannot run around the village screaming the gays are after the children, the gays are taking over; the gays are going to silence us, we must stop this before like a silent killer, they get us, etc…And then act surprised when someone acts violently towards us. I am not sure how you don’t see this, but I guess somehow you don’t.

I would ask you to start rethinking your strategy before you ask us to rethink ours.

Concerned Women for America, Active Christian Media and other right wing groups are supporting a rally for anti-gay Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern. Being billed as a “free speech rally for Sally Kern”, the rally is a complete misrepresentation of reality. It is nothing more than an inspirational event for gay bashers and could ultimately inspire violence against gays and lesbians.

The press release states: “Recently, Rep. Kern has been under attack from radical homosexual activists and their followers over remarks she made regarding the homosexual agenda. Rep. Kern took a Biblical stand against homosexual activism and has refused to back down from her statements despite receiving death threats.”

This is a complete misrepresentation of the truth.

1) Kern went far beyond a biblical stand. Unless one of these anti-gay Christians can show me exactly where the bible compares GLBT folks to terrorists and cancer. Kern’s stand was not biblical at all, unless lies and corrupted science are biblical. If they are, show me the verse and chapter.

2) The investigators from Oklahoma found no death threats to Kern. This one is a flat out lie according to news reports.

Next, these people are framing this as a “free speech” rally, but Kern’s freedom of speech has never been in question or attack. In fact, this writer would like Ms. Kern to continue speaking exactly as she has been. She along with countless others like Fred Phelps, Stacy Harp, and Peter LaBarbera make it much easier to show what hate looks like in real life. I would ask Ms. Kern to continue speaking out with her outrageous claims, but know that folks like me will be pointing out every flawed piece of research you spew.

The truth lies with us. When everyday folks look around and discover their gay neighbors, teachers, preachers, and work pals don’t look or act anything like the monsters these people have painted us to be, they are the ones who will have to answer to history. It will be these folks that will be looked back at as the oppressors, the monsters and the predators, not us.

As I have said before, these folks have taken their feelings and fears about gays and lesbians and crafted facts to back them up regardless how flawed those facts are. It would have been more humane and scientifically more sound to take the true existing facts and let those shape your feelings. This void of reason will be the fall of their hate.

Sally Kern, the Oklahoma State Representative who claims that gays and lesbians are more dangerous than terrorism or cancer has now claimed that PFLAG National has misrepresented her after their recent meeting. This has been the source of great joy for Peter LaBarerba who appears to be having some sort of a happy dance that rumors she was supporting non-discrimination laws are actually false. Rep Kern says:

“PFLAG has also spun my words to say that I am in favor of “sexual orientation” laws. I unequivocally do not support “sexual orientation” laws. While I do not advocate employers going on a witch hunt to fire homosexual employees who are performing their jobs in a manner just like any heterosexual employee, I do not support laws that would force employers to check their First Amendment rights to freedom of religion, speech, and association at the workplace door.”

I actually was starting to think the women had been enlightened until I saw this. It appears she is staying the course of her original call to arms against GLBT folks.   Her words are just inspirational speeches for those who would harm gays and lesbians.

The fact Peter LaBarbera and Stacy Harp are still supporting a woman who compares gays and lesbians to other things in life we would seek to eliminate or destroy can only mean that these people are supporting a message of violence against gays and lesbians. People should be outraged at this.

Finding that Sally supports allowing employers to fire employees for being gay proves to me she has little or no understanding of GLBT folks. I feel confident if Ms. Kern spent some time learning about the issues, the struggles and the discrimination, she would sing a different song. I also feel confident that is true for Peter. (We all know that Peter LaBarbera has not understanding of GLBT folks)

For Harp, Labarbera and Kern this is about them not others. This is about them needing to make money, stay elected, and certainly because they are too afraid to stand up after all these years of spreading misinformation about gays and lesbians. Just the fact that everything they have to say about GLBT is negative should be your first clue that they have no balance in their view.

I am angry at this constant barrage of hate, but grateful that the majority of the world is moving away from it.

Active Christian Media, run by Stacy Harp and Faith 2 Action run by Janet Folger are asking folks to support Rep. Sally Kern and her message aginst GLBT folks.   Both Harp and Folger claim the Rep. Kern was only “declaring that the homosexual lifestyle is wrong and has serious consequences” but that isn’t what Rep. Kern did at all.  Rep. Kern compared GLBT folks to Cancer and made the claim that gays are a bigger threat than terroism.   That is far different than simply voicing opposition.

Sally Kern says:

If you got cancer or something in your little toe, do you say, well you know,  I’m just going to forget about it because the rest of me is just fine.  It spreads, and this stuff is deadly and it’s spreading and will destroy our young people and it will destroy this nation. 

Ms. Kern is making a call to arms.   She is asking people to destroy GLBT folks before they destroy the nation.   Such comments and calls to violence should never be supported.    I believe Pastor Scott Jones said it quite bluntly when he pointed out the cancer is something we seek to eradicate and kill.   Terrorism is something we seek to eradicate and kill.  I am baffled that Ms. Harp and Ms. Folger would ask others to support a message thats seeks to eradicate and kill gays and lesbians.

Whether or not you support gays and lesbians, no one should support messages that compare gay people to things we should eradicate, annihilate and kill.   Such statements should be condemn and discouraged.   I would request that Ms. Harp and Ms. Folger acknowledge that their friend Rep. Kern just went too far and stop defending speech that ultimately leads to violence.