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Saturday, December 2, 2006

Children Become the Label You Give Them

by @ 1:19 pm. Filed under Americans For Truth, Exodus, Gay News, Hate Crimes, hate speech, Joe's Rants, Nonviolence

If a child grew up in a home where he was constantly told he is bad, constantly told he was stupid, constantly told he was evil, constantly told he is unhealthy, constantly told he should not be happy, constantly told he was going to die young, constantly told he was rejected by even god, constantly told he was less human than others, constantly harassed by others about these things….what kind of adult will this child become?

This is what Americans for Truth, Stephen Bennett, James Hartline, Alan Chambers, Exodus International, Fred Phelps, Sonja Dalton, Lifesite News, DL Foster, Stacy Harp and dozens of other “anti-gay” activists are doing to gays and lesbian youth. In fact this is what society has been doing to gays and lesbians for decades in this country. Then when those same kids grow older and turn out to be depressed, promiscuous, self-hating and self destructive, they blame sin. The ones they should really blame are themselves for the message of hate and violence they are projecting to GLBT folks. The constant barrage of hate speech is never going to solve the problem, only love can do that. Albert Einstein once pointed out that you cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created it. I believe that applies completely with GLBT folks today.

Despite these negative messages, most GLBT folks grow up to be successful, creative, loving individuals. They do find god. They do find love. They do find all the things that society programed them to believe they would never get, but imagine if we stopped programing them to hate themselves? What would GLBT people be like? What would the world be like?

UPDATE: December 5, 2006 @ 3:PM.

It seems DL Foster has written a snappy reply to this article.   It is my feeling that his response only strengthens my position on the self-hate and misinformation youth are given about being gay.  Most of that misinformation comes from people just like DL Foster, so his reply is only fitting to show exactly what I was talking about in the first place. 

He also calls this article a “hypothetical” question and it wasn’t.  This is real life.  This is the messages being sent to gay youth and gay adults on a daily basis from people just like DL Foster.   

3 Responses to “Children Become the Label You Give Them”

  1. Regan DuCasse Says:

    Those are the same questions I ask as well, Joe. I ask that when the gay kids I have known, who have come from hardship become successful members of society. I listen to the experiences of gays and lesbians who wore the uniform and committed themselves to the freedoms of fellow citizens who wouldn’t accept it for them.
    Our world without the gifts of Aaron Copeland, James Baldwin, Truman Capote, Ellen DeGeneres, Leonard Bernstein, Steven Sondheim, Audre Lorde, Alice Walker, Oscar Wilde,
    Father Mychal Judge…the list is LONG!
    So VERY long of the sung and unsung heroes of the LGBT.
    Two of my best friends have put each other through nursing school. One has graduated, the other is in his second year. I remember how they decided to do that and why.
    And trying to get permission from the government, the American people to be able to contribute all over again by marrying, adopting children and serving openly in the military.
    Because going without is a hardship that most Americans can’t imagine and don’t want to.

    This speaks of a spirit and character our society would do well to tap and foster positively.
    We HAVE benefitted from the sweat and brain trust of millions of GLBT.
    And we obviously could, even more.
    What IS taking so long for America to WAKE THE HELL UP?!

  2. kkaatz Says:

    I see that DL Foster was afraid to answer the question. Not surprising. It is possible that he doesn’t understand what a hypothetical question is.

    Your real-life question can also be asked of not only the treatment of gay people, but also of minority people. How many black kids are:
    “constantly told they are bad, constantly told they are stupid, constantly told they are evil, constantly told they are unhealthy, constantly told they should not be happy, constantly told they were going to die young, constantly told they were rejected by even god, constantly told he was less human than others, constantly harassed by others about these things….what kind of adult will these children become?”
    You would think that Foster would at least be able to understand that and apply it to gay youth.

  3. Regan DuCasse Says:

    kkatz, you bring up a good point. It’s very typical in fatherless homes where black children are living with incompetent mothers, to be subjected to that very language. I think that even successful black families have a portion of it, that fit that description. The single mother, with multiple children of different fathers who contribute nothing to the child’s welfare.
    As frequent as a family member who is addicted, does this phenom occur in millions of American families.
    Even tiny infants are screamed at, hit…called terrible names by not only their mothers, but whoever else is handy.
    Black kids from these sorts of backgrounds turn into angry, negative adults. More prone to violence, addiction, the abuse of others…gang activity.
    The public is engaged in this burden and victimized by it at the same time.
    After seeing what DL Foster and his wife look like, that told me VOLUMES of what he might have endured as a gay person, and as a black person.
    There is a color caste system, that’s invisible and now subtle to those outside of the culture.
    But I’m almost certain Foster suffered within that system, as well as suffering sexual abuse.

    Now he has the power to turn it around AGAINST other people in the only way that’s legal and available.
    I’m just speculating, I could be completely wrong.
    But I am a witness to how black people are within this country. More connected to public insitutions, rather than their family.
    Dependence on the government and/or gang membership to survive, rather than their own family is tragic.
    In the historical timeline, we’re almost back to square one, when black people COULD’NT keep their own children because of slavery.

    Blacks had to cobble a family together of disconnected blood to assure survival, VERY similarly to the way GAY people have to now.
    But once dependence on the government was a lifestyle, the family that was nuclear, was destroyed.
    Black males rendered themselves irrelevant in the destinies of their children.

    There were two recent, horrific stories of child abuse in Foster’s hometown….AGAIN.
    A woman who told police her car had been stolen with her five year old son, turns out to be that the mother and her boyfriend murdered the boy.
    And a young, single mother killed her baby by putting in a microwave oven.

    Foster says NOTHING about it. Nothing.
    Not to us. As if we’re not supposed to care about such things as child abuse.
    There is no end to how creatively cruel men and women are to their children.
    Even just having them while living in poverty is abuse.

    But no, preoccupation with gay people having sex (BECAUSE they don’t procreate) is to them a far more important agenda.
    I don’t understand this preoccupation while such horrible stories of child abuse come out of Atlanta.
    There’s a lot gay people can do to alleviate it.
    There’s a lot that these so called ‘family’ advocates can do too.
    No wonder NOTHING is accomplished either way that’s meaningful.

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