I was in Philly this past weekend and felt a little shocked by the number of homeless people under the age of thirty I saw on the streets. Most of them asked me for money or if I could spare some change. I have been taught by some of my friends that work with the homeless that it is better not to give them money so that they will seek services instead. I don’t know if that really works and it is what I do.
I did pass this one younger guy while on my way to go find something to eat. I would guess he was in his late 20s. What struck me was that he wasn’t asking the people passing him for money, he was asking for someone to help him get something to eat. I walked by, smiled and then kept on walking. I was a little haunted by how desperate and frustrated he sounded that no one would get him something to eat. While I tried enjoying my Chinese Veggie dish, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact I just walked by him. I also started thinking about the labels and judgments I try to teach others not to use. I realized I was using those labels on him. I saw him as the label of “homeless” and my thoughts of how I would respond were stunted by that label. My thoughts stopped at the label I put on him. I didn’t see him in the moment as a fellow human being, I saw him as the label I placed on him. I felt rather ashamed of myself. While I know I was trying my best to make decisions that I have been told are in his best interest, I don’t think I was on target this time.
So, on the way back to the hotel where the conference was taking place I did my best to try and find him again. I walked back the same way and he wasn’t where he was before when I saw him. I eventually found him a few blocks up and he was still asking folks to help him find some food except this time he was saying it more bluntly. He stating to the passer by’s, “I’m really hungry” and I was overjoyed to have a chance to change that.
The second time I saw this man, I didn’t see the label. I saw a human in need of some food. I looked for the feelings and needs in the person just like I try to teach others to do in my workshops. When I did that I saw someone who was hungry and needing food, someone who was frustrated and needing to be acknowledged for his humanity and someone who was scared about not having the security of a steady meal. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be that hungry and be that invisible to others. This was a lesson for me in practicing what I preach.
I wasn’t going to write about this story because I was concerned people would take it in a way I didn’t intend. It isn’t about whether or not we should or shouldn’t give money to the homeless or buy them food. The reason I share it is that I want you to think about how you see others. Do you seen them as the label you have placed on them or the human underneath those labels? Do you see your own humanity or do you see the labels others have placed on you?
Just saying….
Here is a video from Becky Blanton who spent a year of her life homeless. Really makes you think about how you see someone and instills a sense of curiosity about why they are there and what we could do to help!
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