Speak Compassion

Gandhi once said that he opposed violence because whatever good it does is temporary, the evil it does is permanent. The death penalty is one of those things for me. Saddam was put to death and I have read countless Christians, Muslims and others who are joyful of the event. I am never joyful at the death of anyone. From the accounts I read of the hanging, you could hear the bones in his neck break as he struggled for his last breath. This is truly an act of violence. Again, as a human race we have answered violence with more violence.

I do not believe in the death penalty regardless what someone has done. Their offense is between them and God, not me.  Did taking his life bring back anyone he killed? Did taking his life teach others a better way of life? Will this stop others from doing what he has done? What have we gained from this? We taught our children to kill and broadcast it on the Internet and on the TV. We taught our children that the solution to evil is more evil. We taught our children that more violence is the solution to violence. We have not done anything we should be shouting for joy about as some bloggers and Presidents have done. Murdering another is not “step” for Iraq, it is a shame for humanity.

I would rather Saddam spent the rest of his life in an Iraqi jail, where he should die and meet his maker on his maker’s terms, not our terms.

This Letter, from Pam’s House Blend, was so well done and flows in the spirit of nonviolence, I wanted to post it here to be sure Mr. La Barbera reads it. I know both Sonja Dalton and Peter La Barbera read this site and both are registered to comment.

Note: After reading a post about Autumn Sandeen, I got the general impression that Peter LaBarbera spends at least some time reading the goings on here at the Blend. Since this is the case, I wanted to write an open letter to him, just to give him some insight as to how some of us see him.

I wanted to start by pointing out an ideology that’s seemed to creep into Evangelical Christianity in recent years. When I came to Christ 9 years ago, I saw small bursts of it, but it appears that things have reached a fever pitch in recent years. Peter, there’s a big difference between not condoning homosexuality, and condemning it, and that’s where the Golden Rule applies in spades. I can understand how you feel the Bible condemns homosexuality, but I have a hard time understanding why you need to actively condemn it on at least a weekly basis in a very public arena. Didn’t Christ start a second epoch where the justice and wrath of God has already been fulfilled due to His sacrifice? Why the active campaigning against a people group you disagree with? These aren’t the money changers in the temple, these are the sinners Christ ate with.

Peter, how do your actions convey the Golden Rule? Do you love Pam, Autumn, and the rest of the gay community as you love yourself? Truly, do you? In what ways are you reaching out to the gay community to convey the love of Christ to them? How are you helping to defend the poor, sick, and weak? And let’s be perfectly frank here, telling people that they’re sick and perverted only makes them feel attacked, since in all reality, it really is a character attack. Are you showing the love of Christ to these people, or committing character assassination? Perhaps it’s time to turn away from press releases for a while, and actually follow the Golden Rule. You could volunteer with your local LGBT community center doing HIV prevention, and show them the love of Christ more than you ever will with hollow words. Perhaps at next year’s pride parade or leather ball, it would be more fitting to show your love in meaningful ways (such as passing out water bottles) rather than standing in judgement with picket signs. Or, perhaps we could see you actively campaign against other sins, such as gluttony (obesity in the Church, anyone?) divorce, greed, or any other myriad of sins. Constantly harping on the issue of gay sin while you ignore others only makes you look like a hypocrite, and turns away members of the gay community. Remember, you will have to answer to Christ when he asks if your actions deterred gay people from coming to Him, rather than leading them to Him. What will you be able to say?

And why don’t you feel the need to turn the other cheek? If you feel attacked by what’s written about you here, shouldn’t you just confess your pain to God and get on with life? Why the need to post retaliation-based press releases at AFT and Agape Press? Here’s a little constructive criticism too; lose the vitriolic intonations, and maybe the gay community wouldn’t take such offense to your writings. Oh, and stop making up the “Gay Agenda.” We both know there’s no such thing. People saying they want equality or recognition doesn’t deserve the borderline-slanderous militant bent you’re labeling it with. Bearing false witness is bearing false witness, and that’s a sin.

Seriously, I’d suggest a good ol’ “quiet time” for you reading the book of John and making sure there’s no sin in your life. If you’d like, I can loan your my John MacArthur study Bible, as there are some excellent resources in there. I’m not saying these things to be mean. I’m not referring to you as “Porno Pete” or any other epithets used against you. I’m saying these things to you because I’m genuinely concerned about you. I worry that your heart is following a dark path of hatred against your fellow man, guised in the cloak of righteous indignation. Remember, brother, vengence belongs to the LORD.

Sincerely,
Rick

Rick :: An Open Letter to Peter LaBarbera

Just a quick message to all, both pro-gay and anti-gay, to have a nice Christmas or whatever it is you celebrate.  I am doing up Christmas at my sisters and having a great time.  

I think the holidays, all of them, really are a time to put differences aside and enjoy each other’s humanity.  Enjoy each others’ gifts, talents and dreams.  We can go back to being at odds after the the holidays.  In the meanwhile, eat, drink and be merry. 

Peace on Earth!!!!

Sadly, I read that Stacy Harp, even in the mist of clear evidence, still believes gays and lesbians are out to “get” Dr. Dobson.   She really doesn’t want to see the evidence that is in front of her.  He lied about the research, he stole another writers’ work without credit, and he misrepresented research for his own agenda.  I am not sure how Stacy can still support a man who is doing this, but she is.

I am sure she has her reasons, but I am baffled as to what those could be.  I like Stacy, I think she has a good heart, but she needs to let go of this notion that the right is “doing” the right thing all the time, because they are not.  They might have the best intentions, but they are going about it all wrong.   If you want a moral ends, you need a moral means.    The evidence is coming out of the closet along with some of the memebers of the right.   Soon, when the smoke clears, all that will be left is the truth about what has happen.  The religious right lied about gays and the evidence of that is no longer deniable.

I hope She sees soon, that opposing homo’s doesn’t mean supporting lies.   You can be opposed to gays without resorting to lies and deceptions.   I would respect those who can oppose gays based on a religious truth more than those who oppose us on scientific lies.

If this isn’t a call to arms against gays and lesbians, I am not sure what is.    Bill Wilson of the DailyJot and WDC Media News have called homosexuality as big of a threat to homosexuality as terrorism.

Mr. Wilson writes:

2006-12-15 — WDC Media News — WASH—DEC 15—DJNS–Homosexuality and abortion represent as much a clear and present danger to the national security of America as does terrorism. The public immorality of the United States of America is appalling and the nation is fast heading for massive decline.

I am not sure where the anger, fear or misunderstanding is coming from in this man, but one cannot expect to make such a comment about a group of Americans and have people respond without violence against that group. When you tell America something is threatening them, you are also saying to put up your defenses.   This is the type of speech that brings violence towards gays and lesbians.  This is what I have named the “Call to Arms”.  This type of language scares me whether it is said about gays or any other minority group.   This is extremist hate speech.

Making a call to arms like this is an irresponsible and immoral act.   Mr. Wilson should be ashamed of himself in the wake of so many hate crimes this year.  I will be interested to see the FBI stats for 2006 when they come out.

The call to arms against gays and lesbians must stop before anyone else gets killed! Does this man expect that people will not treat GLBT folks like terrorist now that he has called us the same?   What kind of person makes such a call to arms against those he disagrees with?  This is a subtle way to incite violence, but it is evil just the same. 

Should you happen to email Mr. Wilson, Please remember to be compassionate, loving and nonviolent in your words.   Please do not sink to his level.  

365Gay.com is reporting a gay male couple was attacked and beaten by up to seven men after leaving a restaurant in Scottsdale.   Amazingly, no one from the restaurant saw a thing.    

Andrew Frost and Jean Rolland say the attack took place just feet from the restaurant’s front doors.  

Frost, 19, needed numerous stitches to close wounds on his head and face. Rolland, 28, suffered many bumps and bruises.

“I had blood pouring out of me and I actually blacked out at one point,” Frost told the Arizona Republic.

He said that as he and Rolland exited the restaurant he heard someone yell “fag”. He said he turned and saw two men. Frost said that he replied to the slur and one of the men punched him. He said that at least five others rushed from the restaurant and joined the attack.

Frost and Rolland have filed a police report, but no one at the restaurant seems to have seen anything. The couple said they had never seen their attackers before.

So it has been over a year. The first post on this blog happen on December 6th, 2005 and here we are at December 2006. I thank all of my readers and fellow writers for sticking it out with me and making this blog a success. You are all amazing people, both pro-gay, anti-gay and the ones who just popped in to say hi. I thank you!

So, What have I learned in this year?

• I learned the anti-gay forces consist of people who aren’t that different from me when you take them out of the spotlight. Seeing them as people, not an agenda lets me see they suffer along with us, and ending their suffering will help end ours.

• I learned that nonviolence is more than just a blog post, I must walk the walk everyday, not just write it. This is a transformation of myself I welcome. Reading back from the early posts on this blog, you too can see the transformation. It is beautiful. Peace is beautiful.

• I learned that I really admire some of the people who are anti-gay, not because of their message but their integrity and dedication to the cause. Many of them really believe they are doing somethinng good. I admire their hearts are in the right place even if their actions are violent. (Aside from the fact, their cause damages me and others like me)

• I learned that blogging can take more of my time than my partner really likes me spending on my computer. I add to that a subscription to netflicks can help that. Learning spanish together and communicating fixes the issue so I can be here blogging with you, my readers. After 7 years, I have to say communication is the key to a good relationship. Everything can be solved when you stop to talk everyday. I love him very much and wouldn’t trade what I have even for this blog.

• I learned that nonviolence really is a way of life, even when driving, buying coffee at Dunkin and trying to solve conflicts with the anti-gay world. Everyday of my life must be a decision to act nonviolent in word, action, thought and deed. It is the matter of seeing even those who seem like a big enemy and seeing them as a friend in need. I learned it is more about compassion and love than choosing the right words. If I approach others in love and compassion the right words come.

• I learned that I am not 20 something anymore and it is time to take care of my health….I have quit smoking and started walking a few time a week. I have always tried to eat healthy, but continued to smoke. That ended at Thanksgiving and I am hoping to someday run a marathon, either way I am done smoking. I smoked a pack a day since I was 11. Time to give it up at 37…..or else…..26 years of smoking is crazy shit that has to stop and has. Not to mention it is violence against myself.

• I have learned that 13 and 14 year old middle school students had more to teach me about nonviolence than I came to teach them. I was glad I had the chance to meet them.

I plan on continuing this quest to end violence against gays and lesbians and I realize the way to do that is nonviolence. It is a matter of ending violence against our adversary and utilizing the moments of peace to make more peace. This year has taught me much, and I hope the message will spread.

What have you learned this past year?

In the wake of James Dobson’s dishonest and hurtful article in Time Magazine where so far, 2 researchers have pointed out the misuse of their research, why have we not seen anti-gay forces like Americans for Truth, DL Foster, Exodus or anyone else come out and denounce Dobson’s behavior.   Are they supporting what he has done?   Americans for Truth have been extremely vocal on all things gay since their beginnings, why are they silent about this?

Stacy Harp is a firm Dobson supporter, why is she not blogging any disappointment in Dr. Dobson for being busted twisting the science to say something it doesn’t.   Dr. Dobson has deceived not only his faithful followers like Stacy, but he has deceived the entire country.   His lies put gays and lesbians in harms way and that is surely a form of violence.  Why are anti-gay people not speaking out about this unchristian, immoral, and deceitful action? 

Perhaps they are embarrassed they have followed this man’s words and believed what he said about homosexuals.  Now we find he has lied and deceived.   Maybe they are ashamed of themselves for following his hate speech.   Time will tell if any of them speak out on this issue.   Will they try to defend these indefensible actions?

Time Magazine has printed a counter point article that responds to the misuse of science by Focus on the Family Founder, James Dobson.

For Dr. Dobson’s article click here

For the Counter Point that ponts out the lies click here

Kyle Pruett, M.D., is Second Professor In Two Days To Challenge Dobson’s Use Of Research

Miami Beach, FLA. - Truth Wins Out urged Time Magazine today to renounce a guest column written by James C. Dobson in this week’s magazine after a second professor, Kyle Pruett, M.D. of the Yale School of Medicine, expressed concerns that the Focus on the Family leader “cherry picked” his work. In a letter to Time and Dobson, Dr. Pruett asked that Focus on the Family, “not quote from my research in your media campaigns, personal or corporate, without previously securing my permission.”Yesterday, New York University Professor Carol Gilligan, PhD, also wrote a letter to Time and Dobson saying that her research was distorted and twisted.

“Time Magazine should take Dobson’s article off the web and pledge that they will never again use his group as a source on family issues,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “Focus on the Family has damaged its credibility and should stop misleading Americans by misquoting respected researchers.”

TODAY, Pruett wrote the following letter:

Dr. Dobson, I was startled and disappointed to see my work referenced in the current Time Magazine piece in which you opined that social science, such as mine, supports your convictions opposing lesbian and gay parenthood. I write now to insist that you not quote from my research in your media campaigns, personal or corporate, without previously securing my permission. You cherry-picked a phrase to shore up highly (in my view) discriminatory purposes. This practice is condemned in real science, common though it may be in pseudo-science circles. There is nothing in my longitudinal research or any of my writings to support such conclusions. On page 134 of the book you cite in your piece, I wrote, “What we do know is that there is no reason for concern about the development or psychological competence of children living with gay fathers. It is love that binds relationships, not sex.” Kyle Pruett, M.D. Yale School of Medicine

Additionally, New York University educational psychologist Carol Gilligan, PhD, demanded an apology from Dobson yesterday and asked that Focus on the Family “cease and desist” from quoting her work in the future.

As I have written about this here on the site, much of nonviolence is based on the life of Christ.  It was Gandhi and King’s beliefs that the Sermon on the Mt. is where Christ gave clear instructions to his followers to follow nonviolence.

This article from the son of Jim Bakker says much I agree with!

JAMES DOBSON SLAMMED BY PROFESSOR FOR DISTORTING HER RESEARCH IN TIME MAGAZINE ARTICLE ON MARY CHENEY’S PREGNANCY

‘I was mortified to learn that you had distorted my work,’ NYU Professor Carol Gilligan Tells Focus on the Family Leader in Blistering Letter Miami Beach, FLA.

New York University educational psychologist Carol Gilligan, PhD, today slammed Focus on the Family leader, James C. Dobson, for “twisting” and “distorting” her research in a guest column he wrote in this week’s issue of Time Magazine. Dobson misrepresented her work in an effort to smear gay families while discussing Mary Cheney’s pregnancy. In a pointed letter to Dobson, Gilligan demanded that he apologize and “cease and desist” from quoting her work in the future.

“Dobson’s group is a fib factory that should change its name to Focus on the Fallacies,” said Truth Wins Out Executive Director Wayne Besen. “This organization habitually lies and shamelessly mangles research to support its anti-gay agenda. Time Magazine should immediately withdrawal Dobson’s column because it is so riddled with scientific errors that it is essentially fiction.”

In a letter to Dobson, obtained exclusively by Truth Wins Out after the group contacted Gilligan and informed her of the Time article, Gilligan expressed her dismay and demanded that the right wing leader apologize.

According to the letter:

Dear Dr. Dobson: I am writing to ask that you cease and desist from quoting my research in the future. I was mortified to learn that you had distorted my work this week in a guest column you wrote in Time Magazine. Not only did you take my research out of context, you did so without my knowledge to support discriminatory goals that I do not agree with. What you wrote was not truthful and I ask that you refrain from ever quoting me again and that you apologize for twisting my work.

From what I understand, this is not the first time you have manipulated research in pursuit of your goals. This practice is not in the best interest of scientific inquiry, nor does bearing false witness serve your purpose of furthering morality and strengthening the family.

Finally, there is nothing in my research that would lead you to draw the stated conclusions you did in the Time article. My work in no way suggests same-gender families are harmful to children or can’t raise these children to be as healthy and well adjusted as those brought up in traditional households. I trust that this will be the last time my work is cited by Focus on the Family.

Sincerely,

Carol Gilligan,

PhD New York University,

Professor

“No reputable media outlet should continue using Focus on the Family as a resource because they are chronically dishonest and lack credibility,” said Besen. “James Dobson should start to wonder if there is something inherently wrong with his stance on gay issues if the only way he can support his positions is outright lying.”

Truth Wins OUT is a non-profit organization that counters right wing propaganda, exposes the “ex-gay” myth and educates America about gay life. For more information, visit www.TruthWinsOut.org.

This is yet more proof that the anti-gay industry is lying about our community. This rebuke will go in my upcoming book as the 9th example of a professor or researcher going on record crying foul over the distortion of their work by Dobson and company.

This article about blaming the advertising of Viagra for gay men using meth is ludicrous. I have seen hundreds of Viagra ads and I hardly watch TV. I see them in the papers, I see them in magazines and lord knows I get hundreds of spam emails about it. None of the ads I have seen market the drug to gay men on Meth.

From the article:

An AIDS organization is launching an advertising campaign that says Pfizer Inc.’s marketing of Viagra encourages recreational use of the drug, which fosters the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV.

Sorry, but give me a break. I have yet to see an ad for any of the “ED” drugs that shows anything but fluffy people looking cute and horny. I have yet to see an ad with some strung out drug addict, happy they are on it. I am all for education, but I am also for the gay community taking a stand with their actions as well as their words!

If activists for AIDS/HIV really want to make changes they need to work on raising the self esteem in these men, so they are not sleeping around and doing meth. They need to start fighting the source of the self-loathing and suffering that gay men have inside them. When can put hundreds of band aids on the problems, but sooner or later we need to focus on the underlying issue of the problem. Gay men grow up hating themselves. They grow up believing that they are not entitled to love, commitment and self-esteem. They grow up hearing and being feed myths and verbal violence from the religious right, ignorant parents who have not been given the facts about being gay and sadly on many levels, these men are damaged by these hateful messages. We need to stop the source of the damage and start creating a healthy place for gays to grow up. If the religious right wants healthy gay people, then they should consider stopping the hate campaigns that create this cycle of violence.

Sonja Dalton, Americans for Truth’s blogger has claimed again that homosexuals choose to be homosexuals.   While even the largest of ex-gay groups says that homosexuality is not a choice Sonja writes on the site today:

“People who have sex with people of the same sex were indeed created equal; however, they choose a lifestyle which is not morally equal nor equally valuable to society. “

Amazingly, Sonja hasn’t been following the Ted Haggard Story where it is going to take a “restoration” team on a 5 year plan to make him straight.  I find that whole plan confusing if it is just a choice.

She must also not be following this latest pastor to be out who says:

“.. I can’t tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away.”

If it was just a choice, why wouldn’t he just choose to be straight, just like Sonja says we can just choose to be gay.   Does anyone but me see how misinformed this is?  Why is this women writing on a website for truth, when she doesn’t seem to know the truth?

For all the comparisons that could be made about gay rights and the civil rights fights of the 50s and 60s, one major factor is missing.   NONVIOLENCE!   Martin Luther King, Jr., C.O.R.E, the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee and others were at the forefront of the fight and all of them preached nonviolence as the method of choice.  It was a choice as they chose peace.  It was understood that more hate would not stop hate.

Gay rights activists today  could get peace with Church folks if they made the choice for nonviolence, civil disobedience and peace but instead many have chosen violence which anti-gay religious groups will use against us to show that “gays are violent”. Everyone looses when violence is used.   How I could get this message around the USA to every homo out there so they choose nonviolence, learn nonviolence, and protest in nonviolent ways?   Someone please tell me.

Sadly, this counter protest in Mass. was a perfect example.   Pro-gay marriage groups yelled at church protesters, called them names, and disrupted their rally.  So now the anti-gay marriage folks went home disliking and hating gays even more.  Please show me how this is going to change anything for gays.  Groups like Mass Equality are not helping the struggle for rights when they make people hate us more.  The goal should always be to bring the truth in love, not more hate.

from the article:

About 100 members of MassEquality shouting “Bigots go home” faced off with the anti-marriage demonstrators.

If Mass Equality had counter protested in silence, handing out stories of gay couples and the need for gay marriage they could have educated our opponents and perhaps changed some minds through education and love.  Instead those people left hating gays even more.   Those anti-gay protesters are now more threatened by gays than before the protest.   Everyone lost in this event.  In violence, everyone loses.

If they had chosen nonviolence, this all would be different.   There are 100 more reasons to choose peace for every one reason to use violence.  (no matter what they shout at you, no matter what they say about you, there is no reason to call them names)

MassEquality said it will counter future anti-gay rallies with a similar show of force.

Here is the scary part of this article, they plan to do this again, so rather than anti-gay people just hating us, and believing we are out to destroy marriage, they will think we are violent too!  MassEquality is not helping us, they are hurting us this this type of protest.  They should try peace, try nonviolence, they should hand out educational papers to opposing protesters.   They should bring the anti-gay people coffee, offer to sit with them and talk, learn from each other instead of calling people “bigots”.    If you want change, you must be the change.  If you want people to stop calling you evil things, then you need to do the same.  You want respect, you must show respect.

“The aftermath of violence is bitterness.  The aftermath of nonviolence is the Beloved Community”

Martin Luther King, Jr.