Speak Compassion

I have been wanting to touch off on the recent "Love in Action" conference, the billboards defaced and the meaning of it all.   I just have been so busy with the day job, and bringing it home to be a night job too!   Here are the thoughts I would have liked to write about, but couldn’t find the time.

• Ex-gays including DL Foster have accused gay rights activists of defacing ex-gay billboards.   Guess what I accuse them of defacing the billboards themselves just so they could blame us!  Hows that for ya!   I think you did it to get press.  I think ex-gays defaced their own billboards just so they could make us look bad.  The evidence is there to support me.   They are always making us look bad, why not create it.   Isn’t that what they always do?
• The conference was nothing more than a group of unhappy gays, claiming they have left "the lifestyle".   I ask again, what lifestyle is it we are talking about and what does it have to do with being gay?   Gay people have many lifestyles, which one did you leave?   Don’t they know how dehumanizing it is to make such statements?  

That’s all the goofy stuff I could comment on right now, my state has a proposed budget that cuts thousands from their health insurance, inlcuding ex-gays, and I am fighting as hard as I can to stop it.  So, that limits my posting ability.    Maybe some of my more frequent commenters would like to start writing for "Replace the lies with Truth"……maybe..perhaps…I would even consider letting other write like Randy Thomas, or DL Foster as long as I agree with the message….post…I might print it…

How do  I write?   Well just register to the site and write a post, it goes through me to post it, but if it fits with my mission, I will post it with you as the writer.

IN OTHER NEWS:

I see that Stephen Bennett has deleted the web discussion board, showing us, he doesn’t like discussion on his programs.   He is afraid the opposition might come on and make a better argument than his re-run programs.    Sad, I think the only way to peace is dialog and he won’t allow that.

He has opened up his blog, but sorry I have been following him for years and I can tell you this means nothing.   He won’t allow comments, or if he does it wont be for long.   He can’t stand to his oppostion.   WHY?   He can’t stand to science, unless it fits him.   I have sent him the petition with over 375 signatures and he still thinks he is harmless, he doesn’t see or want to see he is hurting people.

He also hasn’t ask me to be a guest on the show, what a surprise.  

IN OTHER NEWS:

DL Foster has annouced his affiliation to the Constitution Party.   For those of you who don’t know what that means, it spells out that he wants gays executed, or thrown in Jail.   That what that party wants, if he affiliates himself with the likes if them, that is what he wants for us.   Nice.  very Christian.   I am sure Christ would want that too.  [/end sarcasm]

Anyway it is a free forum, bring up any issue you’d like……..I will listen…..keep in mind I am a paid advocate for the mentally ill,   that is taking much of my time with the budget our Governor has proposed that damns the disabled to hell and broke as well.

Sometimes I have to remind myself about the principals of non-violence and the call it brings us.   In a recent email conversation, that I have to say didn’t go that well with a big ex-gay supporter, I wondered if I was nice enough or did I fall into the "not so nice people" catagory.   I thought about it.  I re-read my emails I sent to him.   I came to the conclusion that I coudn’t have been nicer and of course they come back defensive and angry.   Non-violence isn’t about holding back the truth, it is about bringing the truth to people who sometimes don’t want it.   They react rather mean when they hear it.  

Gandhi spoke to his adversaries and so did Dr. King.   I doubt they were happy to hear the message they had to bring.   Especially Dr. King, who had to deal with all sorts of hate bashed his way.   They bombed his home, they burned the churches.   It never stopped him from bringing them the truth.  

What is the truth we have to bring to ex-gay leaders?   They need to know that they hurt far more people than they help.    They need to know that they help to promote the climate of violence against gays with their constant, daily attacks on gays and our ‘lifestyle" as they so call it.    They seem so short sighted on that one.   They can’t see how dehuamnizing that is for us.   It is the same as saying to black people they all look alike…..or to the mentally ill they are all violent.   All of which is untrue.  The mentally ill are not violent and blacks don’t all look alike.   These statements by Exodus, DL Foster, Randy Thomas, Stephen Bennett paint people with a broad, generalized brush that isn’t accurate or justified.   It is hurtful and unjust.

Maybe we should start small with them, get them to stop using the term "lifestyle".   Maybe that would be the one small baby step towards stopping the hate speech that can’t even see they are speading. 

I had a short email conversation today with a rather famous ex-gay.   I was so taken by what I will call the "blinders" syndrome.   It is so hard for me to understand how any ex-gay person, in good conscience can put on a blind eye to the damage that "some" if not "all" these ministries do.   The claim of innocence when the evidence is right there in our face.

Alan Chambers from Exodus claims we aren’t capable of life long relationships.  

Stephen Bennett who claims my love for my partner is a stench in god’s nostrils

Janet Folger who claims gays are "infultrating" the schools

any of them that claim we have "an agenda"

Yes, I do have an agenda.  I want to be treated like everyone else nothing more, and nothing less.   I want to not be taxed at a higher rate than heterosexual couples.  Why should I pay more in taxes?   I have made the same committment.  I have made the same contribution to society, yet I am treated as though I am a second class citizen.

I guess what makes me cringe, is that blatant refusal to see the truth.   How Stephen Bennett’s show with Janet Folger, or Dr. John Digg’s and the flawed sciecne and twisted facts hurt gays and lesbians.  How can anyone not see this?   I am baffled, if not stunned, by this crazy notion that you can call gays diseased, predators, and drug addicts doesn’t cause violence.  What do they think will happen.   They will spread this message and everyone will hugs us?   Nope, doesn’t happen.   Instead they bash us with baseball bats.  Then they ex-gays claim it had nothing to do wit them.   What kills me further is when we are beaten just for ebing us, the crime is treated like "simple assault".   Probation and 100 hours of community service are good enough when the studies show the damage is so much more.   I have blogged about this before so I won’t post the studies again.  I guess I am just venting.     That’s why I have a blog.   I encourage you to read the quotes from Stephen Bennett in the top left corner of the page.    Some are just horrid and so untrue.    I wish for this to stop, I wish for the lies to go away.  I know they won’t just by me wishing.   They won’t go ways till we speak out against injustice.   Dr. Martin Luther King said:  Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everwhere"   That may end up his most famous words.

For those wondering, yes that is my wedding  pic.    Silly me, I couldn’t say my vows.   I was crying and couldn’t make my mouth work, so I had to whisper them…….

I am not sure how many of you read the news stories about the Mr. Hetero contest, but it was an attempt by one man to make a point about homosexuality.   A sad attempt, but maybe his intentions were good, his outcome wasn’t so good.   Our friend, Peterson Toscano braved the event in an effort to dialog and talk with these folks.   As always, and as MLK predicted the universe always sides with justice and these people were good to him and happy to talk with him.  He gives his accounts of the show here on his blog in two parts:

Part One

Part Two (the Danger) 

In one of DL Foster’s latest posts on his blog this week, he has made some more untruths.  While I realize that DL may find these to be TRUTHS, they are nothing more than lies.   I wanted to take them one by one and replace the lies with the truth.  This is no way an attack on DL, just his misinformation.   I do have to say, DL’s new pop up-adverstisment asking people to gamble online is not in accordance with biblical truths, that doesn’t seem to bother him. I will chalk that up to the fact he must not be that web savvy and doesn’t know that is happening, but on to his post.

Mistruth #1:

DL Foster claims: God did not "create" homosexual relationships. God created people and those two people were created in His image.

THE TRUTH:  God created all of us, not just two.   We are all created in God’s image, including gays and lesbians.   He did create gay relationships.   Whatever God’s reasons for doing so, he did it.   There are many gay Christians.   Don’t let DL fool you, gay Christians exist.

Mistruth #2:

DL says: "professionals" in the mental health fields aided this theory by removing homosexuality from the DSM in 1973 under heavy intimidation from gay activists, and without any shred of scientific evidence to justify removing it.

THE TRUTH: Mental Health professionals voted 58% of taking homosexuality off the books, with over 10,000 voting.   It is unlikely that pressure was a factor to 10,000 psychologist who are trained in recognizing a disorder.   They all just realized that homosexuality didn’t fit the definition of a disorder.   Activist did play a role as well as well known psycholigist Robert Spitzer, but they didn’t make the vote.    It was decided that homosexuality "does not necessarily constitute a disorder."  A far cry from the pressure DL is claiming.   Pressure wasn’t the issue, but reality and fact.  Contrary to DL’s claim that no science was present in this decision, Dr. Spitzer is the one who presented the data that it wasn’t a disorder.  I wish DL would become more informed of the facts before making such untruths.

Myth #3:

DL Foster claims: Then where does homosexuality come from you may ask? Homosexuality as well as other forms of deviant sexual conduct are a result of the fallen nature of man. Fallen points to the fact that man’s sin caused him to "fall" from his original state of holiness and relationship with God.

THE TRUTH:  Well not even the ex-gay activists like Exodus agree with this one, Stephen Bennett doesn’t agree either.   This claim just says people are gay because they choose to fall and turn from god.  That is far from the truth.   Some claim being gay is genetic, others claim it is from upbringing, none claim it is a choice people make, which is essentially what DL is proclaiming.  This statement puts him out of touch, not only with other ex-gays, but with most of the scientific world.  

Myth #4:

DL Foster Claims: When homosexuals refuse to acknowledge that their sexual proclivities are sinful, they tragically exclude themselves from Christ’s otherwise inclusive "whosoever will" invitation. Jesus’ powerful invitation is followed by a stunning pronouncement to those who reject the conditions of salvation offered exclusively by Him.

THE TRUTH:

Christ never addressed homosexuality as we know it today.   In all of the text of the scripture, homosexuality is shown as a free for all of sin, Idol worship, lust and turning from god.  The bible doesn’t address loving, committed same-sex relationships.  Neither does DL.  The claim is that such relationships don’t exist, but the truth is….they DO!

LAUREL HESTER died Saturday, at age 49, from the terminal lung cancer that spurred her headline-making fight for equal rights.

LIEUTENANT HESTER made headlines- from her fights against GLBT discrimination through the 70’s and 80’s, to the fight against the Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office to have her death benefits passed on to her same-sex partner Stacie Andrees.

Hester said she feared that without the death benefit, her partner would be forced to sell their home.

Initially the Ocean County Board of Freeholders refused to grant her benefits, but under the heat of public protests and a private meeting with Governor Jon Corzine, they changed their minds.

A memorial mass for Lt. Hester will be held at noon on March 4, 2006 at St. Mary’s by the Sea Episcopal Church in Point Pleasant, New Jersey.

Even if you don’t plan on going, please repost this and get the word out that this tribute ceremony will be held to honor a brave, courageous woman who dedicated her life to fighting for our equal rights.

“Here is the true meaning of compassion and nonviolence when they help us to see the enemy’s point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view we may indeed see the basic weakness of our condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition.”

Martin L. King, Jr.

Ex-gay Tim Wilkins admits that he is still attracted to men, and that ex-gay ministries are about "avoidance" of all things gay.  What he neglects to tell you is that many ex-gays, like ex-smokers feel the need to bash those still in the "lifestyle".   So the reality is the truth comes out, they are still gay and just in hiding.   Why don’t they just say I am a celebant homo.   Why don’t they say, that for religious reasons I am trying to avoid this. I could accept that and support it.  I could be tolerant of that without questions.   Nope, they need to resort to bad science and false claims that they are now ex-gay.   They need to say say they have "changed" their sexual orientation.   The reality is the only things that has changed is their definition of the word "changed".

Time Wilkins says:

"They suggested that my viewing the movie would be beneficial in responding to the reporter’s questions. I told them and the reporter that my going to see Brokeback Mountain would be similar to asking a former alcoholic to go to a liquor store to buy his neighbor a toddy for the body.

Opponents of ex-gay ministries will immediately shout "Aha! So you are still tempted with same-sex attractions!" I do not deny it! Martin Luther said it this way, "if your head is made of butter, stay away from the fire."

I guess as MLK also said that Justice will always prevail and I think it has in this case.

What I find ironic is this whole thing that one minute the ex-gay ministries say that homosexuality is sin and sin can be pleasure.   The next minute they say that homosexuality is painful.    Could they please make up their minds or admit the truth.   Different people have different experiences and that no one can speak for anyone else.    There is no gay lifestlye.  We all experience the world on our on terms.    Nto based on a "lifestyle".

This artle sates:

"But let me ask — is it possible the homosexuals’ continued pain results in part from continued time investment in things homosexual?"

The answer is "NO".  I have read the tesimonies of ex-gays and it is so obvious their issues were not about homosexuality, they were about bad choices.  YOu can still be gay and make good life choices.  It can be done.   

The article also says:

But back to my main point — to view the movie [BrokeBack] will most likely reduce one’s defenses from future immorality.
 
Sorry I disagree, to view this movie would show them that it is more painful to keep denying love than it is to accept love.  Nothing could be plainer than daylight to me.  I have been there, as Stephen Bennett would say.  I know I have been there.  I tried to live as a straight man and deny evertime I had feelings for another man.  It was hell in earth.  Now I have accepted those feelings and accecpted the love and I couldn’t be happier I did.  

Pretty much, on a regualr basis we hear people tell gays and lesbians how we are going to hell when we die.  What about the gays and lesbians who have died, and come back.   What was their experience.   Did they see the fire pit?   Was Satan waiting instead of christ?   The answer…NO.

In fact in a study of 77 gays and lesbians who have had near death experiences, most report the same stuff as heterosexuals who have had near death experiences.    Warm light, love and peace.   What happen to the firey pit?

What does this mean to people like DL Foster who threaten us with the fire, or Stephen Bennett who also says we will go to hell?

Just something to think about!

It seems that strange stuff continues to happen on STR.   Yesterday’s website advertised Alan Chambers coming to chat on the show for today.   Today the website says the show will have Irene playing some of Stephen’s music?    So what happen?   No apology, no message, it is the old bait and switch advertising scam. 

If their was going to be a change in the program, he should say that in the advertising.   Otherwise you are tuning in to hear something, and getting something else.  Either way he is getting the ratings.  

I saw today that Stephen Bennett has released a press release on Gene Robinson’s alcohol problem.   I could say a lot about this issue, since part of my day job is a Behavioral Health Advocate.   I could easily mark all Stephen’s claims in his press release as false, but I truly believe that would be pointless.  I am speaking to deaf ears who have no interest in the truth about gays and lesbians or why these issues exist.  The fact is that the climate the "ex-gays" cry about is the one they create.    I am afraid some people are not interested in the good of others.  I am sadden and dishearted on this false claim about the gay community and alcohol and drugs.

I get many phone calls from people looking for AA meetings or support for their addictions in a place they will feel safe.   There are a limited amount of resources available to gays and lesbians with addiction issues, mostly because the need is small.   We are a small community compared to the whole.    I will say there are "gay friendly" supports out there in the behavioral health community for those dealing with these issues.   I would be happy to point anyone with this issue in the direction of a gay friendly AA group, or a gay friendly support to stop drugs and alcohol.  Just email me or leave me a comment saying I want a resource, I will find you one!

Further than that, while Stephen means well, his information about this is based in his experience, not the numbers and facts as we have them.   There are drug and alcohol issues in gays and lesbians, about 20% of us are dealing with addictions.    When you consider that we only make up 3,5 or 10 percent of the population, that isn’t a large number, but anything more than 1, is too many.  Our drug and alcohol issues are greater than the average, but much reseach is available as to why that is.  This is where I have issues with Stephen’s claims, the issues are not what he says or promotes.   The real issues are documented to be something else.

Here are some facts:  I hope they set the record where it should be…..If you need help with a drug or alcohol issue, or even just have questions, this is what I do for the day job!  I will be happy to point you to a phone number in your area that will be gay friendly and helpful.

Facts Sheet about gays and lesbian Substance Abuse

Substance Abuse in the Gay and Lesbian Community

I see where the CWA is opposing domestic partner rights to "funeral planning".   They claim it is the families not the partners who should make these arrangements.   Sadly, this is just another mistruth.   I know of a girl whose long term partner committed suicide.   The family, who had been estranged from the victim stepped in and took over the planning.   Sadly more so, the partner knew her deceased partner would have wanted to be cremated and the ashes spread in a special spot.   The family came in a gave her a catholic burial.    The deceased no longer considered herself a Catholic and would have been appalled by this.    The family would have known that but like many gays and lesbians, she had been abandon by her family due to her "lifestyle".    I feel sad that the CWA can be so heartless in their fight against gays.    No compassion there.

In other reports of no compassion by Christian conservatives DL Foster’s latest post blasts Bishop Gene Robinson for his alcohol problems.  Rather than showing human compassion like Christ would have done, DL took this as an opportunity to poke fun at the Bishop and ask he repent his homosexuality.   Sorry DL, that isn’t the compassion Christ would have shown.    So much for the WWJD thing. 

Recently on DL Fosters blog a nice poster came along and posted a comment politely pointing out how he thought DL’s penguin posts was out of line with christian teachings.   The commentor says:

Unfortunately today, Christians are too busy picking on the gay community to ever be any type of help to the gay community.

I found DL’s reply to be a surprise.  DL wrote to his critic:

Perspectives is primarily a social and political commentary. As such, your admonitions about religion arent applicable. I try to keep as much separation of church and state as I possibly can here.

In my opinion, DL is saying hey I am a christian, except here on this blog.  Here it is okay to not follow Christ teachings, cause here on the blog I follow the constitution.   It is okay to hurt others, point out there faults, call them names.   It is a separation of church and state issue.   I’ll go back to being a good christian in the pulpit.   Hey, do what I say, not what I do!  

DL has so much to learn from his commentor, Jonathan.  I hope he returns.

It appears that Stephen and Irene told us a few untruths in their show with Robyn at Soulforce.   As they tried to have us believe that STR was changing.   I haven’t seen a change.    The web board is closed, still.   The shows are the same ole untruths and twisted facts about gays and lesbians.   Lots of re-runs of the same dehumanizing, demonizing information they had before.    It saddens me that they cannot see the damage they do with these shows.   It saddens me they think and believe they are helping people.   I myself, fail to see how making gays and lesbians look like child molesters, predators, drug addicts, and sinister tools of the devil is ‘helping’ anyone.  What I do see is show after show of information that plays the deception by omission game.   I see show after show that focuses on twists of the truth and baring false witness against thy neighbor.  

They continue this tradition on tomorrow’s show, here is the ad for it:
Tomorrow on Straight Talk Radio, host Stephen Bennett interviews a woman who went through one of the most unbelievable trials anyone could ever go through. A typical, Christian Southern belle, Miss Susie met the love of her life in seminary – a pastor and man who would eventually become her husband and the father of their three children. Yet Miss Susie suspected something was not right on her wedding night. What would eventually unfold in Miss Susie’s life and her children – is unimaginable. This ‘Christian’ pastor, husband and father was living a dual life - as a homosexual pedophile. A southern family was destroyed, a community shocked and the oldest son tragically lost to AIDS at the young age of 35. Listen to one of the most heartbreaking stories you will ever hear, yet a story of love and compassion Miss Susie now has for those individuals and families affected by homosexuality.

This is sad stuff.   A couples of untruths to point out just in the advertisement for the show.   1) There is no such thing as a homosexual pedophile.   It would seem to me the guy identified as heterosexual.  He married to a women.    Not only does this present the wrong information about gays and lesbians.  It presents inaccurate information about pedophiles.  Misinformation is dangerous all around.   Look at Iraq, we went to war because we have misinformation.    Misinformation is just bad.   To present false information on purpose has to be one of the most sinister things. 2) They tell you this story which is truly horrid, but you never see them tell stories like this about heterosexuals.   Plenty of these stories exist, but Stephen and Irene only focus on making gays look evil.   The fact they don’t tell you stories like this about heterosexuals, just day in and day out about gays is all part of the deception by omission game they play.

The truth is the most dangerous men to your children are heterosexual, not homosexuals.   This isn’t to say that homosexual men never abuse children, but science shows us the majority of sexual offenders are heterosexual men preying on minor aged girls.   Wonder if they will bring these points up on the show?  I doubt it. 

Just thought I would write a few short notes about DL Fosters lastest post about "gay" penguins.   In a sad attempt to make some sort of metaphor out of the penguins, DL fails on a few points.    He tired to change the facts of the same articles to which he links.   Doesn’t he realizes people are going to read those articles and see that they say something different then what he claims they say.   Doesn’t do a whole lot of good for credibility.

1) DL calims that the penguins aren’t having sex, but when we read the articles to which he has linked we find that isn’t true.   The article clearly says the opposite.  

"In all the years they had been together, neither Wendell nor Cass laid an egg. This was unusual because the keepers knew they copulated regularly. They had often seen Wendell submit to Cass, the more dominating of the two. But one day, a keeper saw Wendell on top.

When penguins have sex, the female lies on her belly and the male climbs on top with his feet and puts his rump around her rump. Then their cloacas (sexual organs) meet, and the sperm is transferred into the female. It’s called the cloacal kiss.

Wendell and Cass were clearly kissing both ways. So in 1999, the aquarium did a blood test to determine their gender. It proved they were both male."

I am not sure why DL wants to change the facts, but regardless of his motives, he is trying to use the peguin thing to degrade gays.   The most of his shots are at gay men, not lesbians.

2) DL also writes this juicy little tidbit.

"Gays don’t grasp the fundamental principle that preservation of human society is built on heterosexual "mating" and the reproduction of children. What we see in the birds is a perfect example of that unalterable truth."

I think what DL is saying here is very misleading.  The human population is in no way endangered.  Facts is, as a species we are apporaching 6 billion people on the planet.  I don’t think having 3%, 5%, or whatever the number is this week,gay is going to change the fact humans reproduce at a steady pace.

3) DL takes a shot at gay adoption in his penguin excercise as well.   Stating in his commentary:
"Getting the two males to adopt a baby penguin will not resolve this crisis. The zoo is desperately hoping for heterosexual coupling"

What DL doesn’t tell you is that penguins are not people and the situation is very different.   With heterosexuals popping out 6 billion people, there are also millions of orphaned children in the world.  Some of them have been adopted by gays and lesbians.  Studies show that gays and lesbians tend to adopt the less wanted kids as well.  Mentally chanllenge and special needs children that many other people would have passed over.

This twisting of facts is all part of the deception game ex-gay activists take on their war on gays.  The idea behind it is if they can twist the facts enough to make gays look like evil, sinister people, no one will give them any rights.   They will be shunned back into the closet.  I am not sure what good this does for anyone, but DL must think it does something for society.   I can’t tell what. I see it as hurtful and mean spirited.

Lastly, DL make this charming comment:

"Humboldt penguins, like all that species, are monogamous once paired. According to scientists, mates can recognize each other through vocal and visual mechanisms. Gay couples could certainly learn a lot from these birds."

What DL is trying to do here is make readers believe that gays are not monogamous and that we do not pair for life.   The fact of the matter is this is untrue.    What studies have been done on gay couples tell is that gays do form long lasting, committed relationships.  I know because I am in one.  For even more proof visit this listing of the couples who sued for marriage in mass.  Please notice how long they have been together.   It makes DL’s little popshots look silly.   I suppose DL figures if I can’t use the truth to make gays look sinister and evil, he will just outright lie.   I believe we saw similar tactics by the nazi’s in their attempts to make the jews look evil.   There is nothing noble, christian or good about dehumanizing others like DL is attempting to do.