“replace the lies with truth”

I was completely inspired after reading this article about Pastor Ed Dobson, who after reading about a secular Jew who decided to live for one year as close to the bible as possible, decided he too would live for one year biblically . The article states that he, “he did not shave, ate kosher, observed the Sabbath and read through the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John every week” and made every decision based on what he thought Jesus would do.  I was not at all surprised by his choices because they match and connect with my vision of the teachings of Jesus Christ.

I particularly felt inspired by his thoughts about forgiveness and loving one’s enemy as these are the basic principles of nonviolence. Gandhi and his movement of nonviolence was admittedly inspired by Christ’s Sermon on the Mount of Olives.   Dobson states, “My youngest son did two tours in Iraq, and on the last tour, a friend of his was killed in action and my wife and I went for the visitation and I was overwhelmed with grief and also with anger for the people who had made the roadside bomb, planted it and detonated it,” he said. “And then I finally realized I had to pray for them and bless them, which is very, very hard to do.”

He also voted for Obama stating that he was the one who best represented the teachings of Christ.   I agree with that.   I plan on learning more about this Pastor and what else he learned.  I think it is notable that if this pastor found this difficult to do for just a year, imagine living your life like Christ.  To treat each and every person you met as if they are Jesus Christ would be a tough task.  Jesus stated that “what you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me.”  That would mean each time you call someone a liar, a cheat, or fail to embrace them as your brother, it is if you are doing that to Christ.   It has been my experience that I see more casual believers meeting that challenge than I do the Pastors and preachers or those who run so called “ministries.”

I have to say that I have met few Christians in my life who really match up to my understanding of the teachings of Christ.   I have met many people who call themselves Christian whose treatment of others doesn’t match up with what I call, “loving your neighbor” or “turn and offer the other cheek.”   Those Christians I have met who have matched up to my understanding have inspired me greatly (and some woodworking Christians know who I am talking about, yes you Shuddy.)

Here we are…2009.  We made it you and I.  There is much in my plans for this coming year.  I hope to make some life changes that impact the quality of my life and change my impact on the world around me.   I have been traveling this road for sometime and I am convinced it is time to make some further changes.   Some of the things I have been wanting to do include giving up processed foods,  traveling and doing more volunteer work in the community.   I have been doing all three of these things and now I want to increase the level.

I also want to add a new element of spirituality to my life.   I miss having this element as I use to enjoy more spirituality in my younger days.  Now, I am not talking about religion.  I see religion and spirituality as different things for me.   Spirituality is more about the reasons you get up each day, the energy that keeps you going.   For many people, that is religion and for others it is something else.   Could be yoga or meditation for some.  It could be getting in touch with nature.   Spirituality is about getting in touch with who you are and what you are made of and the energy that drives you.   That could be Jesus or Buddha or maybe it is the warm feeling you get when you give to others.   I want to tap into more of that energy in 2009.  I want to tap the energy that is me being in touch with passion.    Passion is the energy that makes bigger things happen.

I definitely want to change my eating habits.   To start with I eat well now.  I am not a big snack eater and I eat lots of salad and grilled foods.   I don’t really care for sweets and I make pretty good efforts to eat well.   Now, I want to move towards eating foods that are not only good for me, they are good for the planet.   I would like to give up processed foods and move toward a completely organic diet.   I would also like to make sure as much of my diet as I can is from local sources.    I want to eat foods that feed my soul, not just my body.   Chemical and pesticide free as well as violence free food is what I believe can do this.  I know it sounds hokey and I don’t care.

I also would like to remove the words “but” and “however” from my vocabulary. During my training in New Mexico, I learned just how negative these words can make any conversation or situation.   These are 2 words that can generate all sorts of  conflict.   By simply replacing these words with “and” everything sounds more positive.  For example, “John, we love all your ideas but we are going with someone else” could become “John, we love all your ideas and we are going to go with someone else.”  While those two statements seem similar, one is much more positive.   Try this for yourself and see what you think.  (if you notice me use this words in a post, please point it out)

This is just a start of where I want my life to go.   It will happen in small stages and happen just the same. I will keep you posted and update you as I go.

I just finished reading this article from the Chattanooga Times Free Press on ex-gay issues.   The article focuses on a man named Chris Delaney (pictured) from Joseph’s Coat Ministries.  It also quotes Randy Thomas of Exodus International and someone named “Dr. Anderson” from the APA.   Overall, the article seems to present both sides and yet I was still a little annoyed when I read it.  I would value Randy Thomas’ and Chris Delaney’s tone being a little less “venomous” when they talk about gay people.   I would also like both of them to acknowledge that homosexuality is, at this point in time, widely accepted as biological and most likely a born trait.   While it is true a gay gene has not been identified, a gene for being left handed has also not been identified either and that too is accepted as a inherit.   I am mostly annoyed because I value people understanding the whole of the science and I see their position on the science is oversimplified and misleading.   They seem to take this black and white stand on the issue and true science embraces the beauty of grey.   There are the things we know and the things we are working on knowing.

I also object to the usage of the term “therapy” for what Delaney is doing.  When I read that he calls this therapy I feel frustrated as I see therapy as based in science and the study of human biology and behavior. What he is doing is based on religious beliefs.    I value honesty and would request Chris Delaney be honest that what he is doing isn’t therapy.  It is religious ministry.   I fear that people are mislead when they see this as “therapy” when it cannot even be done without a mostly Christian doctrine.   True therapy is client centered and vows to “do no harm.”  I am hard pressed to see how Delaney can call this therapy when the risk of harm is more accepted by the scientific world than the outcomes of change he claims to have with his clients.  I myself have a need for safety for others that is in no way met by this man’s use of misleading terms.

The comments on the article are more interesting than the article itself.   In the article, Randy Thomas claims that it isn’t about “them vs. us” yet the comments alone leave me feeling doubtful.  He says, ““The media and gay activists want to make it all about some sort of fight between us and them, and that’s just not true, yes, we do have moral disagreements, but we don’t exist to oppose the gay community.”  Perhaps Randy isn’t seeing it and yet when I read the comments I see people wanting to be right or wrong,  gay or christian,  gay or straight, good or bad.  I am not sure where those labels will get us because it certainly isn’t any closer to the truth and certainly no closer to understanding the origins of human sexuality. The comments are either for these ex-gay ministries or against.  I see them as a great example of how this really is an “us vs. them.”

My real issue with Delaney and Thomas comes from the delivery of the message.   Delaney’s message is heard by me as angry and bitter towards gay people.   Maybe that isn’t his intentions yet it is what I hear from him.   Randy Thomas is heard by me as defensive and resentful even if that isn’t what he was trying to be.   If they had a different message, I didn’t hear it and what I did hear from them left me feeling sorry for them.   Who knows what they are trying to say.  I couldn’t hear it through the bitter and negative remarks about how gay people lie and gay agenda this and that.  Delaney was even sure to bring the whole threat thing into it and yet I didn’t see how that help the story other than to paint gays as a menace.  In my opinion, that is the goal of these folks each and every time I read what they say.  Regardless what words they seem to chose, what I hear isn’t what they say.  What America hears also isn’t always what they say.  I would really like them to understand that little talked about fact. What someone says, isn’t always what the listener hears.   Even this article you are reading could be taken in ways this writer didn’t intend.    Words are powerful things and we best be careful how we use them.

Delaney attributes the beliefs about the origins of homosexuality to gay activists yet it is science itself that is leaning towards genetics or pre-birth exposure to hormones in the womb not gay activists.  I observe that this is about “us vs. them” and that is always a dangerous way of thinking.  It disconnects us rather than bringing us closer to life.   Where we should be focused on understanding and empathy, we seem to focus on who is right or wrong and I just don’t believe life is that black and white.

H/T:  Towleroad

The month of December has been busy, inspiring, shaking and even life changing.    I have returned from my trip to the International Intensive Training in Nonviolent Communication.   Before I stated that the books on NVC changed my life, now I will tell you for certain that spending 10 days with 60 people from around the world who believe in peace has changed my life even more.   Spending time with Marshall Rosenberg was also life changing.   He is just as inspiring in person as he is on my Ipod at a red light, driving the car.

I have traveled through at least 15 states in the past month.   I started in Connecticut and flew to Chicago, Ill where I spent a few hours hanging out.  Then it was off to New Mexico for the training.   On the way back, I passed through Atlanta, GA and many others I just flew over.   After my trip, I jumped in the car and headed to Rhode Island for the day to do some small claims court mediation then back to CT.  From there, Rick and I hopped into the car and went to Richmond, VA driving through NY, NJ, Maryland, Delaware, where we spent some times with my folks.  I was grateful to spend some time hanging with my dad and talking about philosophy and religion and the search for meaning in the world.   My dad is one of the most intelligent people I have met and I am always amazed at his view of the world.   I was also happy to spend some time with my mom and sad to learn her health isn’t what it use to be.   Both my folks are getting older and that is a tough pill to swallow.

Rick and I then trucked our way through the Carolinas ending up in Greenville for the Holidays.   This was a delightful time and I feel so appreciative I got to spend time with my nieces and my sister and her husband.  In my younger days I use to live with them in a small apartment in New Jersey.   I am always grateful when I get to spend time with them as I hold my relationships with them close to my heart.

Now, I am back in CT and getting ready to hit the road again to head to Rhode Island for a day, then off to PA for the New Years Holiday.   I bet you can see from this just why I haven’t been posting much here at the site.  I also have to admit, I haven’t felt the muses knocking at my door inviting me to write.   I just haven’t felt the drive to correct Peter LaBarbera or Stacy Harp or any of the other anti-gay writers.   I just don’t have the same energy for that as I use to carry.   I have been thinking of taking this site down and at the same time, I have so much invested in time and energy to just erase it.   I will be updating the rest of the site to now promote my consulting business.  I guess it is up in the air where my blog will go from there.   I am open to new strategies if you have them to offer….

I do want to write more about my trip to New Mexico to deepen my learning of Nonviolent Communication.   I learned so much about how we currently communicate (and think) and just why it is contributing to violence on the planet.   I learned new ways of looking at things that most of my gay rights activist friends might think are “nuts” (The right wing already thinks I am nuts) and yet I truly believe what I am learning could change the civil rights movement of gays from dead in the water to finally getting our needs met and still finding ways to respect those who don’t agree.   I do believe it is possible.  I have been writing that for years and now I am convinced.

Anyway, look for some upcoming stuff on my new fascination about giving up processed foods and switching to only organic stuff.   No more chemicals in my food.  Look for some more posts about conflict resolution and Nonviolent Communication stuff and when I have the drive,  look for the usual Satyagraha view of anti-gay actions.

Until then……Happy New Year and I hope whatever you celebrate this time of year, that it is everything you want it to be.

So, I guess the journey begins for me.  I am now in Hartford in a hotel next to the airport so I can catch my flight out in the morning to New Mexico.  I am pretty excited to be doing this trip.  I have long been a student of Gandhi, King and other great role models of nonviolence.  In all my years, I have not had the chance to train under a larger figure of nonviolence, but this week, I will do just that.  I will train with Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication (NVC).  For those of you who may have missed it, I am traveling to New Mexico to do a 9-day, international intensive in NVC with its creator.  (here is a pic of me in my hotel room!  Is it obvious I am bored)

I am pretty excited to be able to spend 9 days training with people from all over the world who are interested in NVC.  I believe there is much value for anyone who chooses to live the philosophy of NVC.   It changes moral judgments into needs and feelings.  It changes conflicts into opportunities.   I could go on and on with the reasons to learn this, but I leave those things to you.   For me, this is really cool.

I also see the value of GLBT folks leanring this process for the incredible potential it has to reshape our activism.   NVC has a very strong and assertive stand on social change.  It is a view I personally think is the key to what we are all looking for since it seeks to meet the needs of all involved not one side or the other.  I admire and hope to model that ideal.

Anyway, I need to put myself to bed early so I don’t oversleep.  Early plane to catch.   It is my understanding I will have access to the web, so I plan to update you more as my training happens.

This is such a great idea, so I wanted to promote it here on the site:

Fred Phelps’ clan is coming to Boston! The “God Hates Fags” Westboro Baptist Church is coming to picket the Laramie Project at the Boston Center for the Arts. Fred Phelps and his group travel all across the United States spreading their message of hate. When the group comes to Boston, however, they will be helping to drive equality across America.

Phelps-A-Thon: http://drivingequality.com/about/phelps-a-thon/

Driving Equality is hosting a Phelps-A-Thon to counter Fred Phelps’ hateful message. For every minute the “God Hates Fags” clan is protesting, we will be collecting donations for Driving Equality, a 85-day trek across America to all of the lower 48 states to advance LGBT equality.

Pledge Online here: http://www.emailmeform.com/fid.php?formid=185960

The Phelps clan will be protesting in front of the Boston Center for the Arts Black Box Theatre from 7:15 PM to 8:00 PM on December 12th. You can pledge any amount you chose, whether it be $0.25, $1, $2, or even $5 for every minute they protest. You can even pledge a flat rate for the entire time the group will be demonstrating.

The point of this Phelps-A-Thon is two fold. First, we are using Phelps’ own hateful message to raise funds for a good cause, one that will help counter the lies that are being spread about LGBT people. Second, we will be displaying a sign in front of the “God Hates Fags” clan tallying how much money they have helped raise for LGBT equality. This will certainly upset the group and it is possible that they will leave early to stop our fundraising.

On the “God Hates Fags” website, Phelps has this to say about the upcoming protest in Boston:

BCA Black Box Theatre - God Sent Matt 2 Hell! 527-551 Tremont Street. Matt is in Hell! Deal with it. Just read Romans 1, and see him and you in those words, and finally this: Romans 1:32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have in them that do them. AMEN!

We can turn these hateful words into positive change. Help Drive Equality Across America.

Pledge Online here: http://www.emailmeform.com/fid.php?formid=185960

Driving Equality: http://drivingequality.com/

Driving Equality is a trek across America to raise awareness of the various forms of discrimination faced by LGBT people in each state of the nation. Highlighting the differences in rights, laws, and amendments between the states will shed light on the current social standing of queer individuals today. I hope to create a dialogue about the disparities across the nation, and what can be done to end discrimination for all.

During the summer of 2009, I will be going on an 85-day, 15,000-mile road-trip, through all lower 48 states, to advance LGBT equality. Check out the About page to find out more about the project.

Explore the website! Find out more about me, take a look at my route, learn about the trip’s net-zero environmental impact, and consider donating or becoming a sponsor. When the trip starts, I will be updating the site on a daily basis with blog posts, photos, and videos.

If you are interested in learning more, or being a part of the project, send me an email at Chris@DrivingEquality.com.

One of the turning point philosophies that led me to really want to learn more about Marshall Rosenberg’s process called, Nonviolent Communication is the idea that people do things from a place of giving rather than the avoidance of punishment or the seeking of reward.  Rosenberg mentions the book, Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn which offers the idea that praise, rewards and gold stars are really just bribes and manipulation.  Since reading the book, Nonviolence Communication: A Language of Life by Rosenberg, I have been awaken to just how much we use punishment and reward as motivation, but even more I have been awaken to just how destructive and devastating such a system is to our society, especially our children.

Rewards distract us from the real reason we should do things in life.  As opposed to doing things because they will enrich the lives of others or ourselves, rewards get us to do things to get something we think we want.    Rewards also lessen our ability to enjoy the things we do.  We become so focused on getting the reward, we forget to enjoy what we are doing.  It, in essence makes what we are doing less  about the action and more about what we will get for doing it.  Peacemaker and Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hahn in his book, Creating True Peace uses the example of doing the dishes.  He notes that if our goal is to rush through the dishes so we can have the reward of our tea, we will be stuck living the future not enjoying the present.  We will not notice the joys of the warm soapy water or the feel of each plate being cleaned because we are too focused on the reward of out tea.

Examples of the destructive force of rewards is everywhere.  Our education system is a prime example.  We teach our students by system of reward either by cute little gold stars or by grades.  We do the same thing to teachers with test scores and funding.  Children fail to enjoy the beauty of the process of learning because they are taught to focus on the grades.  The don’t work to learn the material, they worked towards getting good grades.   Sadly, it doesn’t matter if they can name all the 50 states 2 weeks after the exam because they got the reward of the A.   They may remember them, they may not but in the end we adults made it more about the grade than we did about learning the 50 states.   This system stems from what lingers above it and that would be the reward of funding.  In order for the best schools to get the reward of more funding, they need to have children getting the reward of good grades.   So rather than a system of education that has teachers teaching so that kids learn, teachers teach to get good test scores.  Doesn’t matter if the kids can’t read when they graduate, the passed the test and got the scores.   If the children aren’t doing well on the tests, don’t check to see if they are learning, that isn’t the real goal.  Our system calls for rewards of grades and test scores, so change the test so they get better scores, not the lessons so they get better educations.  It becomes a sick cycle of nothing as teachers teach to get scores and children learn to get grades, nobody is teaching or learning so that kids actually make life better.  It isn’t life enriching, it is chasing rainbows.  Rosenberg elaborates on this system more in his book, Life Enriching Education.

I have more recently seen examples of the damages of this system of rewards in our current economy.  For many years now, Americans have been focused on “getting more” or having better than they do.   They can’t enjoy the TV they have knowing there is a bigger better one.    They don’t enjoy the car they have if they is a better and faster one.   The house is never “big enough” and we are always working toward having more.  Rarely do I hear too much about enjoying what you have.  It is this mentality that has driven this country for decades.   Our industries are built on the idea that people will always want more.   The advertising convinces them they “need” more and what they have will never be good enough.  We have a Walmart, Target and K-Mart all within steps of each other carrying the same products and we have brainwashed to believe we need all these products rather than enjoying the ones we have.  Now, as people are going for broke, they are realizing they don’t “need” any of it.   Factories are closing, companies are closing, and all those folks who believed their lives would be better if they managed the reward of the bigger better house are losing those to the big banks who need to be bailed out as their CEOs also drive themselves to have more.  Because of course, we deserve it right?  It is our reward for [fill in blank].

Our drive to reward ourselves reached fatal levels on November 28, 2008 when a 34 year old Walmart employee died because people were more interested in getting the rewards than respecting his life.   A mob of reward seeking customers who had been brainwashed into believing they need “more” broke down the doors and trampled the young man killing him.  When told by crying and mourning store employees they must leave while his family could be notified and an investigation could be completed, they complained that they had waited in line for hours and “deserve” to be there.   Remember, if you feel you deserve it, then it is a reward and from what I can see, rewards aren’t that rewarding when you look at what they cost society.

Punishment is no better of a game.   Punishment teaches us to do things from a place of fear, guilt, shame or worse obligation.   I have come to a point in my own life where I would prefer no one do anything for me if it done from any of the places I have listed.  I would rather people do things for me because they see how it enriches my life and theirs.

Punishment never accomplishes what we hoped anyway.  When we use it to “teach” children lessons we find that we teach them to avoid punishment not the beauty in doing things differently.  Next time, the child will simply get better at not getting caught rather than changing the behavior that isn’t working.

If we moved away from this system of punishments and rewards and moved into a system that focuses on meeting the needs of others, I am sure we could create a society where we buy things when we really need them, not to reward us.   We would recycle not because we get fined by the city for not doing it, but because we see the beauty in taking care of the earth.   We would see the value of making sure each and every child can read regardless of the test scores.    Children would work toward learning the material to enjoy the knowledge rather than just passing the exam that raises the test scores that ups the funding that pays the teachers their rewarding bonus for doing a good job.  People would actually do things for the beauty of doing them rather than the benefit of rewards or the fear of punishment.

All of this could happen if we just started to change the way we do things. It really could happen.

A new website titled the Charter for Compassion states that compassion is at the center of all religions and could be used to unite people.   The site’s homepage says:

“By recognizing that the Golden Rule is fundamental to all world religions, the Charter for Compassion can inspire people to think differently about religion. This Charter is being created in a collaborative project by people from all over the world. It will be completed in 2009. Use this site to offer language you’d like to see included. Or inspire others by sharing your own story of compassion.”

I love this idea, but I also have some doubts that it will unite anyone when it comes to religions.   Those that need a new outlook on those with differing religions are not likely candidates to buy into this idea.  Fundamentalist  Muslims and Fundamentalist Evangelical Christians hold conversion to their faith in much higher regard than they do compassion or peace.  I suspect those are not the type of people to embrace the idea of uniting people in the world.   Many see the differences in the religions of the world as a challenge that must be won like it is a mission from god, a “holy war” not a moral and just effort for humanity.   Many such believers are willing to fight to be right rather than be compassionate for the sake of peace.

I do still feel inspired by anything that brings us remotely closer to a world without violence and war.   I support and applaud the efforts that ask us to stop and live in new ways.   I just can’t help feeling disaapointed that those who need this are not the ones who will embrace it.

Posting will be light (could it be any lighter?) for the next few weeks as I am traveling.  I guess it will be light till after the new year.  First I am spending the Thanksgiving Holiday with family in Pa.  Then I am off to a retreat/training in New Mexico with Marshall Rosenberg.  Those of you who follow this blog daily know this is big for me to go and spend 9 days training with a man who wrote the book on nonviolent  communication.  At the same time I will be away from my partner for 10 days and that sucks. 

After that trip, I am off to visit family and then DC for the holidays.  I have been wanting to spend a few days at the Smithsonian checking out “stuff”.  I love museums.

Anyway, feel free to keep adding comments!  I will be posting here and there when I have internet and time!

Enjoy your Turkey or Tufurkey when app.

-Joe

“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide impetus for people to attack each other.  Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.”

Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD,  From the book, “Speak Peace in a World of Conflict”, pg. 129

You can preview the book here.

Watch Video Clip

From Transcript

Dr. Sa’d Al-’Inzi: When a person commits an abominable act, like homosexuality, for example, or lesbianism, in the case of women’s parlors this constitutes “spreading corruption in the land,” and should be punished by death. […]

Moderator: Other than life imprisonment and the death sentence, what can be done?

Dr. Sa’d Al-’Inzi: According to Islamic law, a homosexual should be thrown from a tall building.

Moderator: What would you do with them?

Dr. Sa’d Al-’Inzi: To be honest, death is too good for them. They should be gathered in a public place, where they would be flogged and tortured, so the truth about these people is made clear and they serve as a lesson to others, because they are an epidemic plaguing society. Read more

I wonder if he really thinks god is love too!   Turture, thrown from buildings, public flogging and god loves you.   I am baffled at the morality of those who claim to be moral.

H/T: Atheist Media Blog

A Cup of Tea

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!”

“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

Joe’s note:  This quote/story really makes me think about the current conflict between anti-gay and pro-gay folks.   Rarely do I see them listening to hear each other, mostly they are trying to be “right”  when really they should listen to each others needs.

So, I will be removing the anti-Stephen Bennett Ministries petition off my site as I have gotten exactly what I wished for from Stephen Bennett, he has found a new career that no longer involves hurting gay people.   It appears that Stephen has moved on to real estate.   What is funny for me is that my partner and I will be house shopping and perhaps will give Stephen a call to help us look for a house and now that I have moved to CT, you never know.

I wish Stephen the best with his new career and hope he does well despite this sad economic time.  To celebrate, I have taken down the petition that basically started this blog in the winter of 2005.  I hope he and Irene are done with the spreading of lies and misinformation about gay folk and sell lots of properties.

Stephen still has his ministry page here, but no one has heard much from it in many months.

I have been pondering the name of this blog and wanting to change it.   At the time I chose this name, I bet it worked for me but those days have changed.   Now, when I read the name, “replace the lies with truth” I feel apprehensive as I don’t think I have “the truth”, in fact, I criticize others for claiming they have the truth.  None of us really have the truth….as Gandhi said, Each of us hold a piece of the truth and the untruth….

I also feel uncomfortable with the idea that this title currently claims others are lying.  Now, after studying Kingian Nonviolence, Gandhian Nonviolence, Satyagraha, mediation, conflict resolution and facilitation, I don’t think that the current name of this blog is productive to having real discussion and dialog.  I have my doubts this title is a reflection of what I really hope will happen here.

So as my mind has grown, and my thoughts have grown, I would like this blog to grow as well.

I would like a new name that encompasses my feelings about nonviolence and gay rights.  I also plan to start changing the focus of this blog to interpersonal communication and nonviolence.  I have strong feelings about the lack of conflict resolution skills we teach our children.  I plan to change the focus of this to address that as I think it will help end future “culture wars” as we will equip folks with the skills they need to solve conflicts before they become wars.   I would like a name that promotes what I really write about and what I care about.  I would like new name that is fair to all that come here and read….

Please give me your suggestions for a new name…….